Sunday, March 31, 2019
Rally
Saturday, March 30, 2019
Comfy
Friday, March 29, 2019
Commence
I told Brennon that I'd pick him up for his orthodontic appointment at 10:00-10:15. When they called his room at 10:15, Mrs. Hubbard chuckled, saying Brennon knew this call was for him and had already walked out the door. He was ready.
After arriving, we hadn't been in our seats more than two minutes before Brennon was asking if I had a snack. "Mom, I am so shaky. Do we have any snacks in the car." I knew it was adrenaline more than hungry, so I helped him breath through the next few minutes. I know a little something about adrenaline spiked anxiety. He was fine as he went back.
First order of business was to remove the rubber spacers, then fit the expander retainer in for doctor to look at. I remember that pain well, so it was no surprise to see him go rigid as she asked him to bite down so the metal could fit around his molar up into his gum. I was glad to be able to reach out and caress his leg in comfort and solidarity.
Next came the brackets.
After they were placed, Dr. Butler came to make sure they were in their proper placement, and give the all clear to make everything permanent. One of his teeth is almost a peg tooth, so it was hard to get the right placement for the bracket. They made a note, in case brackets continued to fall off, and told us there were options for many years down the road to build that tooth up to a match the other side. The all clear was given, everything was made permanent-- Phase 1 has commenced!
He's having a hard time talking and swallowing with that retainer in the roof of his mouth, which in turn makes it hard to eat. I'm glad his number 2 favorite meal is chili, because cereal with milk is out of the question right now. He usually eats a can of chili by himself, in like 10 minutes-- last night it took him an hour and ten. He also talks a lot more nasally. The boy has some metal and cement in that mouth: an expander retainer on top, a spacer retainer on bottom, and four permanent brackets. No wonder he's struggling.
He hasn't complained about any discomfort yet, which is a relief. There's a lot to get used to those first few hours. We have nightly expander turnings for two weeks, and then another appointment. I can't wait until I can post a Before, During, and After photo.
After arriving, we hadn't been in our seats more than two minutes before Brennon was asking if I had a snack. "Mom, I am so shaky. Do we have any snacks in the car." I knew it was adrenaline more than hungry, so I helped him breath through the next few minutes. I know a little something about adrenaline spiked anxiety. He was fine as he went back.
Next came the brackets.
Thursday, March 28, 2019
Second Place
While Keilie and Shelby were at Young Women's, and Brennon was at 11-year old scouts, Tyson and I played Uno. After winning our first round, Tyson casually said, "That's cool. At least I got second place." When I glanced at him, thinking he was joking, I realized he wasn't-- he meant it. It wasn't last place, it was second place in a game of two. Cute.
After winning another round, Tyson said, "You know, Mom, I may be the one that actually won. I'm the one that kept my cards the longest."
Angeleah and I came up with ways in which we, too, find the silver lining in our lives. Yesterday, I was the best at not doing my work.
After winning another round, Tyson said, "You know, Mom, I may be the one that actually won. I'm the one that kept my cards the longest."
Angeleah and I came up with ways in which we, too, find the silver lining in our lives. Yesterday, I was the best at not doing my work.
Wednesday, March 27, 2019
Motivation
I've commented before how much I love Mrs. Mason's daily get-you-thinking exercises, but this one quickly climbed to my number one favorite spot.
Motivation Monday (3/25/2019)
Give people high-fives just for getting out of bed. Being a person is hard sometimes.
What is something you get excited to get out of bed for?
The sooner I get up, the sooner I get to play soccer with my dad.
~Tyson.
Monday, March 25, 2019
Driver
Shelby, Brennon, and Tyson were playing a game together on their devices on Saturday, giggling and having a blast, when Shelby piped up, "I am such a good driver when it comes to crashing!" Brennon and Tyson, as if it were the most natural statement in the world, one that explained it all, chimed in in unison, "Seriously!" And the game went on.
I hope she doesn't still think this when she starts Driver's Ed in 3.5 years...
I hope she doesn't still think this when she starts Driver's Ed in 3.5 years...
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Open Up!
We always knew some of our kids would need braces. We both brought teeth problems to the marriage; him with crooked teeth and four missing, me with crooked teeth, tiny upper pallet, and TMJ-- it was inevitable that at least one out of five would need braces. As it turns out, three of the five need them, and they're all the male children. So far none of them have teeth that are missing, but Brennon and Tyson inherited my tiny upper pallet, so when they suggested this retainer...
I wasn't all that surprised. While mine was a removable plastic one that filled the entire roof of my mouth, Brennon's (and Tyson's to follow in between 6 months to a year) will be cemented in for a few weeks. There will be a tiny "key" that I'll fit into that center square once a week and rotate backwards, which will separate the retainer, effectively opening up the pallet, creating a more uniform "u" shape, instead of the "v" shape he has now.
He'll also have brackets placed on the front four teeth, pulling the front two together, with the other two following suit, opening up adequate space for the canine teeth to come in without a problem, hopefully guiding all teeth to correct their crookedness and crowding. I'm not quite sure how long he'll have the separation retainer, but he'll have the brackets for at least a year. One they're removed, we'll have a wait period as his mouth continues to grow with maturity, coming back after a certain amount of time to see if he'll need Phase 2 braces. Caden only needed Phase 1, but he never needed the retainer, so we'll see how it goes for Brennon. And because no child likes to do everything the same, Tyson's Phase 1 will probably be quite different from Brennon's, which was quite different from Caden's-- cause we like challenges in this house apparently.
It all begins on Thursday. He'll hate it now, but appreciate it so much when he's older. It feels good to finally be starting, since we've been waiting for this for almost two years.
He'll also have brackets placed on the front four teeth, pulling the front two together, with the other two following suit, opening up adequate space for the canine teeth to come in without a problem, hopefully guiding all teeth to correct their crookedness and crowding. I'm not quite sure how long he'll have the separation retainer, but he'll have the brackets for at least a year. One they're removed, we'll have a wait period as his mouth continues to grow with maturity, coming back after a certain amount of time to see if he'll need Phase 2 braces. Caden only needed Phase 1, but he never needed the retainer, so we'll see how it goes for Brennon. And because no child likes to do everything the same, Tyson's Phase 1 will probably be quite different from Brennon's, which was quite different from Caden's-- cause we like challenges in this house apparently.
It all begins on Thursday. He'll hate it now, but appreciate it so much when he's older. It feels good to finally be starting, since we've been waiting for this for almost two years.
Friday, March 22, 2019
Keilie's Wheelies
It's DONE!
While getting a second key programmed for the car (another added cost I just realized), he looked at a used car just like hers, except it was a year older with 50,000 more miles for $11,600. That makes our $6,550 look even better!
We had a few minutes of wait time while picking Keilie up from Drive's Ed last night, so we decided to program destinations into her navigation system. When we went to put in Home, we were a bit shocked to find that the address that was programmed in already was just around the corner from our old home just before this one. Canyon Avenue turns into Canyon Street after a major intersection-- we lived on Canyon Avenue, the previous owner lives on Canyon Street. We bought the car from the Spokane car auction (which is 2 hours northeast), never imagining the first owner of the car was so close to home.
So Randy drove to their home, hoping to get the other key and the owner's manual. It was a long shot, since they'd gotten into the accident soon after they purchased the car September 2016, but Randy gave me his you'll never know if you don't ask speech. The guy invited him in and went in search for the two items, all the while telling him about the accident. Apparently it was a bad accident, where a woman pulled out in front of them. However the police claimed they were partially at fault, mostly likely because the woman was the mother of the police officer that was on the scene. He did not have the key, but he did have the owner's manual. While sitting in front of his house, we edited the Home address to our own. It's officially Keilie's Wheelies.
3/23/19
While Keilie was looking under seats for her missing license (she found it in the other pocket of her backpack), Keilie found a manilla envelope tucked up under the driver's seat marked Key Envelope. And just like that we wasted $250 getting the other key programmed on Thursday. Awesome. Silver Lining: We all have our own key to her car.
Thursday, March 21, 2019
Passenger
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Blessings
Because things have become so hard, Randy and Bishop Kreutz gave me a blessing last night. As Brennon prayed (in Caden's place, because it was the 3rd Tuesday), he said, "Please bless Mom... to... do... whatever she wants." When I thanked him for praying for me, he said he didn't really understand why I was getting a blessing, but he hoped my prayers would be answered. Brennon was praying that Heavenly Father would bless me with what I wanted, as I did whatever I needed to do. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be blessed with the children I've been given.
In response to my previous post, Kimberly suggested a book all about two brains-- our "animal" brain that is all about survival, and our "human" brain that gives us power over our choices and actions (both overly simplified here, because I'm still learning). I spent a majority of my afternoon and evening reading (after sleeping from 7:30-11:00am to make up for my previous nights' lack of sleep), finding the information extremely intriguing. I was mistaken, I do have two brains. I'm hoping that the skills she presents can help me process the messages between my two brains to better process this stage of my grief. I also plan to read the book that she sites as the stepping off point for her own recovery and research into the brain. This brings me a hope I haven't felt for many weeks.
My goodness, I miss my Caden.
Recent Books I have recently read and seriously enjoyed:
*The Year of Less-- A woman writes about her year without spending (we call this Financial Fast), and how it enhanced her life. We love doing Financial Fasts, so it was amazing reading about someone that had successfully done it for a year (and then another).
*1-2-3 Magic-- I found this book when Caden and Keilie were small. It helped with discipline and happiness in the home. I've utilized it since, but have found that the kids' arguing and annoyance with each other is creeping into the home more and more, so I started reading it again. He gives simple instructions (and scripts) to help you feel empowered to bring out the best in your kids as you shape and mold them through correct discipline.
*My Stroke of Insight-- I read this book back in like 2015. A neuroscientist that has studied the brain for her entire career suffers a stroke and comes back from it. My gosh, this was in interesting book. I love learning about the brain.
*Patchwork Reality: Happily married to a schizophrenic-- Married for 14 years before her husband had his first "dream," she tells the tale of how her husband went from the man she married to his diagnosis, and how it changed and tested everything she'd known. Truly, the brain is an amazing organ, even when it's hard to change your own thinking.
*The Forgetting-- This novel is about a people that forget everything every 12 years. The only way they know about themselves is through the journals they keep about themselves. But what if they chose to change their truth to become whatever they wanted after The Forgetting? I love the thoughts this invoked as I considered forgetting the last 12 years, and what I would do to remember our stories.
Currently reading:
*Brain over Binge-- It was in response to a book she found about recovering from addiction as you understand more about your brain that helped her overcome her bulimia. While I find the information intriguing, it is more about the two brains that I am interested in, which will lead me to read...
Want to read:
*Rational Recovery: The new cure for substance addiction.
Sometimes I read to get lost in another reality. Sometimes I read to understand my own a little better. Reading is a blessing in my life.
In response to my previous post, Kimberly suggested a book all about two brains-- our "animal" brain that is all about survival, and our "human" brain that gives us power over our choices and actions (both overly simplified here, because I'm still learning). I spent a majority of my afternoon and evening reading (after sleeping from 7:30-11:00am to make up for my previous nights' lack of sleep), finding the information extremely intriguing. I was mistaken, I do have two brains. I'm hoping that the skills she presents can help me process the messages between my two brains to better process this stage of my grief. I also plan to read the book that she sites as the stepping off point for her own recovery and research into the brain. This brings me a hope I haven't felt for many weeks.
My goodness, I miss my Caden.
Recent Books I have recently read and seriously enjoyed:
*The Year of Less-- A woman writes about her year without spending (we call this Financial Fast), and how it enhanced her life. We love doing Financial Fasts, so it was amazing reading about someone that had successfully done it for a year (and then another).
*1-2-3 Magic-- I found this book when Caden and Keilie were small. It helped with discipline and happiness in the home. I've utilized it since, but have found that the kids' arguing and annoyance with each other is creeping into the home more and more, so I started reading it again. He gives simple instructions (and scripts) to help you feel empowered to bring out the best in your kids as you shape and mold them through correct discipline.
*My Stroke of Insight-- I read this book back in like 2015. A neuroscientist that has studied the brain for her entire career suffers a stroke and comes back from it. My gosh, this was in interesting book. I love learning about the brain.
*Patchwork Reality: Happily married to a schizophrenic-- Married for 14 years before her husband had his first "dream," she tells the tale of how her husband went from the man she married to his diagnosis, and how it changed and tested everything she'd known. Truly, the brain is an amazing organ, even when it's hard to change your own thinking.
*The Forgetting-- This novel is about a people that forget everything every 12 years. The only way they know about themselves is through the journals they keep about themselves. But what if they chose to change their truth to become whatever they wanted after The Forgetting? I love the thoughts this invoked as I considered forgetting the last 12 years, and what I would do to remember our stories.
Currently reading:
*Brain over Binge-- It was in response to a book she found about recovering from addiction as you understand more about your brain that helped her overcome her bulimia. While I find the information intriguing, it is more about the two brains that I am interested in, which will lead me to read...
Want to read:
*Rational Recovery: The new cure for substance addiction.
Sometimes I read to get lost in another reality. Sometimes I read to understand my own a little better. Reading is a blessing in my life.
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Sighting
When Randy is out of town, I usually move the decorative pillows onto his side of the bed, making it seem as if someone is there. Because of this, and the fact that I hadn't made my bed on the day this happened, I didn't have any reason to suspect that anything was about to happen.
It was near bedtime and I was exhausted. I'd been running around all day, and just needed to take my shoes off and get into my comfy clothes. I came out of my bathroom and sat at the bottom of my bed, when all of the sudden I felt a jostle. Confused, and a bit scared, I turned around to seeCaden Tyson in my bed. He'd crawled into my bed while I was in the bathroom, and snuggled up close to Randy side of the bed to try and scare me. It worked, but not in the way he imagined.
Oh, he thought he was so funny. But, truth be told, it really hurt. I have never really seen what so many people have told me: that Tyson looks just like Caden. But in that minute of confusion and fear, I truly thought I saw Caden. For a split second, I was elated. And then it hit me-- it will never be Caden again. And I was crushed. Devastated. Overwhelmed with my grief.
Since the beginning of the year, I've noticed my grief has taken a turn for the worse. It's as if my sub-conscious mind finally caught up to everything when it realized that we just had an entire calendar year without Caden, that it's "still real," and it can't compute it properly. It truly is as if I have two minds, and they're confusing each other and kind of arguing. In trying to explain what is going on in my head sometimes, it's almost as if my sub-conscious had amnesia and just "woke up" to find that Caden died while it was "asleep." When asking my conscious brain about the missing parts, my sub-conscious says things like, "Oh, yeah, well if Caden's been gone for an entire 16 months, why has it only been hurting this much for 2 months?" And then I start to wonder if I was really feeling anything at all in all of that time, and I start to feel like a bad mom because maybe I wasn't mourning my child properly, and that maybe because things were getting a little easier 14 months later that I was forgetting him, and how can a good mom forget her dead child? And on, and on, and on. I don't know how else to explain how much I'm struggling in my mind in regards to Caden, yet how everything else in my life is just fine. There is so much chatter between my two minds (I know that I don't really have two minds, but that's how it feels right now), I can barely keep my focus on what's happening around me sometimes.
So when I thought I saw my Caden again, with his happy, mischievous grin, even for a moment, it hurt so, so, so much when it wasn't him. Even now, at 3:21AM, one week later, I still can't shake the feelings of sorrow for Tyson's "joke." And then I feel like a bad mom because I was sad to see it was "only" Tyson. What kind of mother looks at the smiling face of one child and wishes it was the smile of another? Is even sad when it wasn't the smile of the other? My sub-conscious is having a field day beating my conscious brain about that one.
It is now past 4:00am and I feel as if I may not be making much sense. Honestly, though, that's how my life has felt since the first of the year-- nothing makes sense anymore. My mind is one big jumbled run-on sentence, and I am stumbling around trying to understand what's supposed to be spoken.
It was near bedtime and I was exhausted. I'd been running around all day, and just needed to take my shoes off and get into my comfy clothes. I came out of my bathroom and sat at the bottom of my bed, when all of the sudden I felt a jostle. Confused, and a bit scared, I turned around to see
Oh, he thought he was so funny. But, truth be told, it really hurt. I have never really seen what so many people have told me: that Tyson looks just like Caden. But in that minute of confusion and fear, I truly thought I saw Caden. For a split second, I was elated. And then it hit me-- it will never be Caden again. And I was crushed. Devastated. Overwhelmed with my grief.
Since the beginning of the year, I've noticed my grief has taken a turn for the worse. It's as if my sub-conscious mind finally caught up to everything when it realized that we just had an entire calendar year without Caden, that it's "still real," and it can't compute it properly. It truly is as if I have two minds, and they're confusing each other and kind of arguing. In trying to explain what is going on in my head sometimes, it's almost as if my sub-conscious had amnesia and just "woke up" to find that Caden died while it was "asleep." When asking my conscious brain about the missing parts, my sub-conscious says things like, "Oh, yeah, well if Caden's been gone for an entire 16 months, why has it only been hurting this much for 2 months?" And then I start to wonder if I was really feeling anything at all in all of that time, and I start to feel like a bad mom because maybe I wasn't mourning my child properly, and that maybe because things were getting a little easier 14 months later that I was forgetting him, and how can a good mom forget her dead child? And on, and on, and on. I don't know how else to explain how much I'm struggling in my mind in regards to Caden, yet how everything else in my life is just fine. There is so much chatter between my two minds (I know that I don't really have two minds, but that's how it feels right now), I can barely keep my focus on what's happening around me sometimes.
So when I thought I saw my Caden again, with his happy, mischievous grin, even for a moment, it hurt so, so, so much when it wasn't him. Even now, at 3:21AM, one week later, I still can't shake the feelings of sorrow for Tyson's "joke." And then I feel like a bad mom because I was sad to see it was "only" Tyson. What kind of mother looks at the smiling face of one child and wishes it was the smile of another? Is even sad when it wasn't the smile of the other? My sub-conscious is having a field day beating my conscious brain about that one.
It is now past 4:00am and I feel as if I may not be making much sense. Honestly, though, that's how my life has felt since the first of the year-- nothing makes sense anymore. My mind is one big jumbled run-on sentence, and I am stumbling around trying to understand what's supposed to be spoken.
Sunday, March 17, 2019
Ceiling Tiles
While there, the boys noticed the ceiling tiles, asking what they meant. I told them that every time one of Dr. Butler's (and the late partner, Dr. Parkinson) patients gets their braces off, they sign a tile, and that Caden had signed his name on one. We all immediately started looking, although my focus was split between ceiling and paperwork. I planned to look for it each month for the next year (that's how long Brennon's treatment will last), in hopes of finding it.
While talking logistics and treatment plans, the receptionist asked Brennon and Tyson if they were Caden's little brothers. She then asked, "So, is Caden a Senior this year? How is he?!" Upon hearing that he passed away, knowing we were looking at the ceiling tiles she had in her office right then, she said that we for sure needed to locate Caden's.
August 2013
August 2013
I planned to come home and look at this picture for a reference. My gosh, look how big his eyes are. He had such beautiful eyes!
Upon returning from church today, I found this text from the actual orthodontist and friend from church, Dr. Butler:
"Colleena mentioned you were looking for Caden's signature on the ceiling tiles. Found it and took a photo for you. It's above chair 2/3."
How special that even though the office has been through a major remodel since we were there on that momentous day in 2013, Caden's name can still be found. I can't wait to see it with my own eyes next week, when Brennon begins treatment of his own.
Although I am not his patient, I'm still grateful for the smile Dr. Butler's kindness brought to me today.
Thursday, March 14, 2019
Choking
I could have written about this post last week when it happened, but it was too hard then. Heck, it's too hard now, but I need to get it written so it can be put from my mind as something that must be done.
The boys took Mira out to play in the snow before school. Since we don't leave for school until 8:30, and they wake up at 5:55 (without an alarm), they always have plenty of time to get ready for school, read for at least 30 minutes, and play. Last week, they chose to take her out and get her hyper with snowballs and tug of war.
I looked out the window and saw her back by her favorite spot in our yard: by the pond, under the aspen trees, near the trampoline, among the ivy vines. I noticed her chewing kind of weird, vine positioned between her paws, but since I'd seen this view hundreds of times in the last two years it didn't cause me concern. Before turning away, she got up and did what we call a "victory lap": running around the perimeter of our yard at full speed.
For years, she's played this "game" with the ivy vines. She'll tug and tug on the vines, and when she finally pulls one away, she gets super excited that she's won the game, and does a victory lap around the yard, pouncing and shaking her head violently with the vine in her mouth. I thought this was what she was doing. Added on to the fact that the boys had been getting her hyper, I didn't have any reason to suspect anything else.
I turned away to begin loading the dishwasher of their breakfast dishes. After a few cups, Brennon came in to tell me he thought Mira was chocking. I walked to the same window and looked out, finding Mira sitting before Tyson, him trying to pry open her muzzle. She was having none of it. Because I'd seen her running around, I told them to have Mira come in. She ran like the wind, coming in for a toy to put in her mouth, and just looking like her normal hyper-puppy self. I made it back to the sink to continue my chores.
Not two seconds later, Mira came between me and the sink and started to nudge me like she does when she wants attention. Nothing out of the ordinary, just thought she was still super hyper. But then she started to paw at me in more of a frantic way. I stepped back to assess what was going on and she started this pounce with a rigid arch in her back while violently slapping her face with her paw that scared the heck out of me. "Oh my gosh, she really is choking!"
She would not let me look in her muzzle for anything. I was getting more and more worried, so I screamed out to the boys to get in the car. The way she was arching her back made me think she was trying to do some sort of Heimlich on herself. I was frantic.
We got in the car and started for the vet that is maybe 5-7 minutes away. Brennon said a prayer as we were pulling out of the driveway. One second she was sitting on the seat looking out the window, the next she was jumping frantically around the car. The boys were kind of screaming out, "Ouch, Mira, that hurts!" as she was pawing at them. I was almost begging for a cop to pull me over for speeding, planning to ask him to rush me to the vet with his lights on and I would gladly hand over my license for the rest of the year if need be. No cop came, I sped as fast as I felt was safe.
About halfway there, Tyson was saying, "Ouch, Mira...." and then started to scream her name over and over again. I will never forget the fear in his voice. I glanced back to see her laying on her side in the center aisle where we took out that extra seat. She'd been bounding around all frantic, pawing at Tyson, and then collapsed. I started to pray like I haven't prayed since Caden: "Please, Heavenly Father, please don't let her die. Please, please, please." Tyson was bawling, petting her, holding her head up. We all thought she was well and truly choking to death in the car. I can't tell you how stupid I felt for bringing the boys along. "Oh my gosh, my boys are going to witness their dog, Caden's dog, die in this car right now!" I was beside myself with worry for Mira, worry for myself, worry for the family that was going to hear the news, but mostly, worry for my boys that were watching this all unfold. It was the longest drive I have ever taken in my own town.
In my haste, I forgot a leash. Knowing how much Mira hates the vet (and groomers), I was worried she'd put on the skids and that I'd have to drag her in by her collar. Wouldn't that look great, "I think my dog is choking!" as I am pulling her by the neck. She must have heard my voice, must have felt my fear, must have been beside herself with pain/fear, because she came in without a problem. As soon as I got to the front desk, I started to cry. I am SUPER proud of myself for the restraint I had over myself. I was not sobbing, like I felt like doing, I was able to talk while tears streamed down my cheeks. "I think my dog is choking."
She was checking her screen as I was telling her what happened and what she'd been doing since, when she said the only thing they had available was to admit her for observation. At this point, I didn't care what the heck they did, as long as the vet looked at her immediately. I told them yes. They had us take a seat while one of the techs was summoned. Less than a minute later, the tech came to talk with us. Again, I am super proud of myself, because the thought that this was the person that was going to take my Mira to be fixed made me more emotional-- tears were coming down, I was finding it a bit harder to get my words out, but I was not sobbing. Tyson was clinging to me, silently crying, too. At that moment, Mira started to do that pounce thing. The tech watched her for half a second and then said, "I'm taking her right now," scooped her up immediately, and whisked her away. I sank down to the seat, Tyson practically on my lap, and prayed.
Brennon was so great under pressure. He saw our fear and tried to distract us. I was so proud of him when he said in a calm, reassuring voice, "Tyson, look, they have a Calvin and Hobbes book. Want to read it with me?" Tyson didn't, but it did relieve some of the stress hearing Brennon read us some of the funny antics.
Less than five minutes later, the door opened. I was expecting to see just the tech, since I thought they were going to admit her, but instead saw the tech, Mira, and the actual vet. In the vet's hand were those long-nosed gripper, plier type things that they use for surgery. Within the jaws of that tool was a 3" shard of vine. My mind reeled, thinking that was choking my Mira, we got it out just in time! Mira pulled so hard on the leash, the tech let her go to come to me. Mira came up behind me, pressed her nose up through my legs, and sat directly under me as if I was going to ride her. We must have looked like quite the sight: Mira between my legs, me bending forward to pet and love on her, with a boy on either side, kneeling down, excitedly petting and expressing their love for her. By the time the vet and tech made it to us, the vet had tears rolling down her cheeks, too. I could no longer talk.
"She was not choking, she is going to be ok. I want you to know that she was not going to die, nor will she from this. It looks like she bit down on this enough for it to break off and wedge itself between teeth in the upper palette. Because it was so far back there, she would try to expel it with her tongue, which in essence gagged her. It was wedged in there really deep, there would have been no way to get it out of there on her own. She's going to be in a bit of pain, would you like to go home with some pain medication?"
I can't tell you how many times I tried to say thank you through my tears. She left us with tears still running down her cheeks. When we were checking out, I felt like telling her to keep the card. "Take it all, here's my pin number!" No amount would have been too expensive. I don't usually like to talk about the real reason we have Mira, but I had to bite my tongue from saying, "You know, that dog is not just a pet/companion for us," and spilling our sob story to them all. I came to them in tears, and I left in tears. My Mira is going to be ok.
As we were getting in the car, Tyson asked, "Mom, do you think I could talk to dad about bearing my testimony on Sunday?" Brennon told him that was only the first of the month, so I told him he could bear it to us. "I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. We prayed that Mira would be ok, and he answered our prayers." As soon as he knew there was no danger, my little Tyson gave thanks and continued faith to the Lord.
The entire ordeal was less than 45 minutes from "get in the car" to dropping the boys off at school to start their day. By the time I made it home with Mira, it had been less than an hour since I looked out the back window to watch her chewing in her favorite spot. I sat on the couch, called her up to sit with me, snuggling, petting, crying, and praying. I was 100% done with the day by 8:45am.
My anxiety and depression (which doesn't feel like depression I've experienced before, more of like an extreme grief whenever anything reminds me of Caden, but I don't know what else to call it) have been slowly drowning me recently, enough to have appointments to get medication and possibly counseling, so this incident really did me in. We honestly thought our Mira was choking to death. From frantic to collapse in the car to frantic at the vet and collapse on the couch, I could only think how blessed we were to have Mira. She is our therapy, she is our baby, she is the only thing we have left of our Caden. I don't think we'll ever truly be ready to say goodbye to her. How grateful I am to have her at my feet as I type this and cry. Caden's dog brings us so much joy. I can't wait to celebrate her 4th birthday on Saturday!
The boys took Mira out to play in the snow before school. Since we don't leave for school until 8:30, and they wake up at 5:55 (without an alarm), they always have plenty of time to get ready for school, read for at least 30 minutes, and play. Last week, they chose to take her out and get her hyper with snowballs and tug of war.
I looked out the window and saw her back by her favorite spot in our yard: by the pond, under the aspen trees, near the trampoline, among the ivy vines. I noticed her chewing kind of weird, vine positioned between her paws, but since I'd seen this view hundreds of times in the last two years it didn't cause me concern. Before turning away, she got up and did what we call a "victory lap": running around the perimeter of our yard at full speed.
For years, she's played this "game" with the ivy vines. She'll tug and tug on the vines, and when she finally pulls one away, she gets super excited that she's won the game, and does a victory lap around the yard, pouncing and shaking her head violently with the vine in her mouth. I thought this was what she was doing. Added on to the fact that the boys had been getting her hyper, I didn't have any reason to suspect anything else.
I turned away to begin loading the dishwasher of their breakfast dishes. After a few cups, Brennon came in to tell me he thought Mira was chocking. I walked to the same window and looked out, finding Mira sitting before Tyson, him trying to pry open her muzzle. She was having none of it. Because I'd seen her running around, I told them to have Mira come in. She ran like the wind, coming in for a toy to put in her mouth, and just looking like her normal hyper-puppy self. I made it back to the sink to continue my chores.
Not two seconds later, Mira came between me and the sink and started to nudge me like she does when she wants attention. Nothing out of the ordinary, just thought she was still super hyper. But then she started to paw at me in more of a frantic way. I stepped back to assess what was going on and she started this pounce with a rigid arch in her back while violently slapping her face with her paw that scared the heck out of me. "Oh my gosh, she really is choking!"
She would not let me look in her muzzle for anything. I was getting more and more worried, so I screamed out to the boys to get in the car. The way she was arching her back made me think she was trying to do some sort of Heimlich on herself. I was frantic.
We got in the car and started for the vet that is maybe 5-7 minutes away. Brennon said a prayer as we were pulling out of the driveway. One second she was sitting on the seat looking out the window, the next she was jumping frantically around the car. The boys were kind of screaming out, "Ouch, Mira, that hurts!" as she was pawing at them. I was almost begging for a cop to pull me over for speeding, planning to ask him to rush me to the vet with his lights on and I would gladly hand over my license for the rest of the year if need be. No cop came, I sped as fast as I felt was safe.
About halfway there, Tyson was saying, "Ouch, Mira...." and then started to scream her name over and over again. I will never forget the fear in his voice. I glanced back to see her laying on her side in the center aisle where we took out that extra seat. She'd been bounding around all frantic, pawing at Tyson, and then collapsed. I started to pray like I haven't prayed since Caden: "Please, Heavenly Father, please don't let her die. Please, please, please." Tyson was bawling, petting her, holding her head up. We all thought she was well and truly choking to death in the car. I can't tell you how stupid I felt for bringing the boys along. "Oh my gosh, my boys are going to witness their dog, Caden's dog, die in this car right now!" I was beside myself with worry for Mira, worry for myself, worry for the family that was going to hear the news, but mostly, worry for my boys that were watching this all unfold. It was the longest drive I have ever taken in my own town.
In my haste, I forgot a leash. Knowing how much Mira hates the vet (and groomers), I was worried she'd put on the skids and that I'd have to drag her in by her collar. Wouldn't that look great, "I think my dog is choking!" as I am pulling her by the neck. She must have heard my voice, must have felt my fear, must have been beside herself with pain/fear, because she came in without a problem. As soon as I got to the front desk, I started to cry. I am SUPER proud of myself for the restraint I had over myself. I was not sobbing, like I felt like doing, I was able to talk while tears streamed down my cheeks. "I think my dog is choking."
She was checking her screen as I was telling her what happened and what she'd been doing since, when she said the only thing they had available was to admit her for observation. At this point, I didn't care what the heck they did, as long as the vet looked at her immediately. I told them yes. They had us take a seat while one of the techs was summoned. Less than a minute later, the tech came to talk with us. Again, I am super proud of myself, because the thought that this was the person that was going to take my Mira to be fixed made me more emotional-- tears were coming down, I was finding it a bit harder to get my words out, but I was not sobbing. Tyson was clinging to me, silently crying, too. At that moment, Mira started to do that pounce thing. The tech watched her for half a second and then said, "I'm taking her right now," scooped her up immediately, and whisked her away. I sank down to the seat, Tyson practically on my lap, and prayed.
Brennon was so great under pressure. He saw our fear and tried to distract us. I was so proud of him when he said in a calm, reassuring voice, "Tyson, look, they have a Calvin and Hobbes book. Want to read it with me?" Tyson didn't, but it did relieve some of the stress hearing Brennon read us some of the funny antics.
Less than five minutes later, the door opened. I was expecting to see just the tech, since I thought they were going to admit her, but instead saw the tech, Mira, and the actual vet. In the vet's hand were those long-nosed gripper, plier type things that they use for surgery. Within the jaws of that tool was a 3" shard of vine. My mind reeled, thinking that was choking my Mira, we got it out just in time! Mira pulled so hard on the leash, the tech let her go to come to me. Mira came up behind me, pressed her nose up through my legs, and sat directly under me as if I was going to ride her. We must have looked like quite the sight: Mira between my legs, me bending forward to pet and love on her, with a boy on either side, kneeling down, excitedly petting and expressing their love for her. By the time the vet and tech made it to us, the vet had tears rolling down her cheeks, too. I could no longer talk.
"She was not choking, she is going to be ok. I want you to know that she was not going to die, nor will she from this. It looks like she bit down on this enough for it to break off and wedge itself between teeth in the upper palette. Because it was so far back there, she would try to expel it with her tongue, which in essence gagged her. It was wedged in there really deep, there would have been no way to get it out of there on her own. She's going to be in a bit of pain, would you like to go home with some pain medication?"
I can't tell you how many times I tried to say thank you through my tears. She left us with tears still running down her cheeks. When we were checking out, I felt like telling her to keep the card. "Take it all, here's my pin number!" No amount would have been too expensive. I don't usually like to talk about the real reason we have Mira, but I had to bite my tongue from saying, "You know, that dog is not just a pet/companion for us," and spilling our sob story to them all. I came to them in tears, and I left in tears. My Mira is going to be ok.
As we were getting in the car, Tyson asked, "Mom, do you think I could talk to dad about bearing my testimony on Sunday?" Brennon told him that was only the first of the month, so I told him he could bear it to us. "I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. We prayed that Mira would be ok, and he answered our prayers." As soon as he knew there was no danger, my little Tyson gave thanks and continued faith to the Lord.
The entire ordeal was less than 45 minutes from "get in the car" to dropping the boys off at school to start their day. By the time I made it home with Mira, it had been less than an hour since I looked out the back window to watch her chewing in her favorite spot. I sat on the couch, called her up to sit with me, snuggling, petting, crying, and praying. I was 100% done with the day by 8:45am.
My anxiety and depression (which doesn't feel like depression I've experienced before, more of like an extreme grief whenever anything reminds me of Caden, but I don't know what else to call it) have been slowly drowning me recently, enough to have appointments to get medication and possibly counseling, so this incident really did me in. We honestly thought our Mira was choking to death. From frantic to collapse in the car to frantic at the vet and collapse on the couch, I could only think how blessed we were to have Mira. She is our therapy, she is our baby, she is the only thing we have left of our Caden. I don't think we'll ever truly be ready to say goodbye to her. How grateful I am to have her at my feet as I type this and cry. Caden's dog brings us so much joy. I can't wait to celebrate her 4th birthday on Saturday!
Tuesday, March 12, 2019
Thorough
Shelby has been asking me for months to get her hair cut. Honestly, it may have even been for the last year that she's asked, but I kept telling her no. Selfishly it was because I, myself, love her long, thick, golden curtain of hair since I cannot grow mine as well as she can grow hers. I always have. While I do not run my fingers through it while she sits on my lap in Sacrament meeting like I did when it was this length when she was three years old, I do love looking at it, and occasionally brushing it while drying it when she lets me. I just love her hair. But she doesn't. It's too thick for her liking, so it's hard to keep brushed enough to reduce tangles. Realizing that I let Tyson tell me when he doesn't want to get his hair cut when I want him to, I knew I needed to let Shelby cut her hair when she does want to. So I've sent her off to a friends' house for a cut that she chose, one that she said would make her feel pretty.
While putting her laundry on her bed this afternoon, I found this reminder note to herself:
Either my Shelby is just being thorough in her reminders, or I have some dental bills coming my way soon.
Before
After
While putting her laundry on her bed this afternoon, I found this reminder note to herself:
Before
One thing about Shelby's hair-- it ALWAYS lays this perfect! She never needs to back-comb to have it lay so perfectly.
This is what Cloud Nine looks like!
Monday, March 11, 2019
Dam
Sometimes you wish you would have been better prepared, like we do about this year's winter. But other times you realize that you did the best you could, because you compared it to the only other evidence you've been given.
This is our second winter in this home. While we had snow fall last year, we did not have it in quite the same way we did this year. Also, we've heard about the damaging effects of ice dams, but we've never personally had to deal with them. And since we didn't have to deal with it last year, our first and only other winter we've been in this house, we didn't realize that we needed to be prepared in such a way.
Because the dam was getting bigger and bigger in a spot that never sees sun in the winter, we were getting more and more worried that it was going to do some major damage as it slowly melted with the upcoming warmer temperatures predicted. While in Lowe's looking for the heat wires that specifically say that they shouldn't be used once an ice dam has formed, we realized that of course it would have been better to have them in place when the snow started to fall, but there wasn't much we could do about that now. We bought the heat wire knowing full well we weren't going to be able to follow the directions and recommendations.
It felt weird seeing Randy shoveling show off the roof, made even more surreal when you realize we hadn't had snow fall for a few days. With the warmer temperatures, the snow was melting at a slow pace, adding more and more ice to the dam once the temperatures dropped each night. Randy took measures into his own hands. Well, shovel in his own hands...
Once the snow was removed, he had a nice little shelf to set the 150' of heat wire. He also took out a chisel and hammer for the stuff that was sitting 6" above the rain gutters. My goodness, what a job that was. For the next few days, we'd turn on the heat wire during the day, where we could watch in case something happened because we'd knowingly installed them wrong, and off at night. I'm happy to say that the dam is now gone.
Just in time for the freezing rain and snow projected for tomorrow...
We'll be prepared better next year. Where I'm sure we will not have a single Snow Day, unlike the 6 we've had this year.
Grades
I love this view, when Tyson comes in to snuggle with me and just talk and giggle.
Mrs. Mason asked the kids: What's one thing you should not waste?
Tyson: "Time because if you waste time playing X-box and you have an essay due tomorrow you will get a BIG FAT F-
I hate getting F-'s!
Wednesday, March 6, 2019
Destination Imagination
Tyson's culminating event for Destination Imagination was on Saturday. He's had some very time-intensive meetings recently, trying to get everything ready for the competition. The rules and regulations for all challenges are published in June. Because the teacher that has been over DI for the past couple of years couldn't do it this year, it took a while for the school to find a teacher to be over it. Stephanie McMasters took it over, got everything set up, and then opened it up to parents that wanted to volunteer to be coaches. We didn't get everything figured out and our first meeting for the Orchard Elementary Engineer Archers until after Thanksgiving. Learning the timeline made me even more proud for this group of kids. I knew we'd started months behind the rest, but didn't realize it was 5 months later!
(L to R) Coach Rajiv, Abi & Sami (his twin daughters)- 2nd, Evie- 2nd, Sriyan- 2nd, Tyson- 3rd, Michael- 1st, & Jack- 3rd.
There was a team for Kindergarten (that wasn't judged, it's strictly for the experience, even though they do get 3rd place medals), 1 Medical Mystery team, and 2 Engineering teams. The other Engineering team was 4th and 5th graders. The last meeting that we had was on Friday after school From 2:15-6:00pm, we met at the school, finished up the paperwork, ran through our skit a few times, and then did a mock-competition with the other teams that could join us, so the kids could have more of an audience. It was really neat to see how much more prepared our kids were than the other team, especially knowing their ages. I've heard that coaching this age for DI is like herding cats. Having been to a few meetings, I could not agree more.
The coach can say nothing. Nothing! He cannot suggest materials for the project that they've come up with. He cannot tell them that they need to make sure that their parts are all equal and aligned, although you can tell that he really wanted to. He is there to make sure they stay on task, but cannot suggest what they can do to be on task. It's pretty intense. The rules are very specific. If the judges quiz the kids (and believe me, they really do!), and the kids cannot tell exactly how something came together, who had that idea, where they got those very specific supplies, they'll be disqualified from that portion of the point values. This is a competition for the kids, by the kids, and no amount of interference, suggestion, or help is accepted. At all!
Having read the rules again and again, they thought they were ready until an hour before they were to go on. They realized they had interpreted the rules wrong. They had a circuit board that would emit an alarm (sound effect was a big part of their challenge) to summon the "monster that behaves in an atypical manner" (another part of their challenge). The effect needed to be triggered by the placing or removing of the weights. They'd planned to place two weights, and the third weight would be placed on the trigger. However, the rules stated that the special effect could not be triggered by the weights, only because of the weights. So, after a lunch of pizza at a fun pizza place together, and directly before they needed to go on, these kids sat down in a noisy, crowded hallway to figure out how they would make their special effect go off at just the right time. They did SUCH. A. GOOD. JOB!!! That's a lot of anxiety and distraction to put out of your mind to concentrate on the task at hand, especially when the parents could not give hints at all.
Their structure had to be a certain weight, height, and circumference to qualify. It had to be made of very specific supplies, with very detailed descriptions of what each supply could or could not contain. You had to have samples and packaging for purchased supplies, had to list and give a price value for supplies, and had to be prepared to tell about every aspect of the structure and other supplies you use for your skit.
Everything had a point value. If you were found to have something that wasn't allowed, you just wouldn't be given points for that. The other engineering team from Orchard found out directly before they competed that they would not be given points for three things that had consequences that made their weeks of work not really matter: Because they had a latex balloon, they would not be given points for their special effect, which is a major component. Then, because their structure was too large (it touched the sides of the tester) and too heavy, they weren't given points for their structure. Being an engineering team, that was the biggest blow of all. I heard their coach apologize to parents for wasting their time and money over the last few months. It was heartbreaking.
You were expected to check your structure before performing. They'd weigh and measure, check your supplies, and then place it in a locked box that was given directly to the judges as you entered. I'm telling you, o-ffi-cial!
They kids came up with a story where three little girls are talking after school about a monster that had been seen near their school. The background shows their school (painted by the three girls) on a rainy day. Perfect weather for their ice cream cones, also cut out and painted by the girls.
Jack and Tyson waited for the perfect moment to place the heaviest weight. They'd tested a similar structure and got the weight up to 50 pounds, so they knew they could place the 45 pound weight without trouble. The change in their trigger meant they needed to wait until the right moment to place this first weight.
Once they got the weight to 50 pounds, realizing that the special effect hadn't triggered yet, in his nerves that it wasn't going fast enough, Tyson tripped the alarm. This took off a few points, but that was what they'd planned. They're given only 8 minutes from the time they call them to the stage to walk on, set up, perform their skit, and say "Time." They also added another element that others did not do by introducing themselves and saying what part they'd play in their skit. It was really cute.
With the alarm triggered, the monster came out. Tyson and Jack continued to put more weights on, making sure their structure didn't break, which would have been bad. Once they had all of the weights on, they joined the mayhem the monster created. The twins played scary music on their piano and violin (additional creative element, another part of their challenge), while Evie struck a pie plate intended to sound like thunder on their stormy, scary afternoon. The monster was mad, until he was given a vanilla ice cream cone. He loved it so much, he became a nice monster that helped Jack and Tyson remove the weights.
Once the weights were removed, Jack gave the mummy an ice cream cone as a reward. Oops, wrong flavor, the mummy turned back into a mean monster. Zeus, friend of our Engineering Archers, was summoned to throw down a lightning bolt that killed our mummy. The End.
They all did such a good job. With every aspect. The audience laughed, they cheered at the end, and clapped long for our kids. It was really fun.
I wish I would have gotten a picture of their structure. Gluing the 7.5" craft sticks into a triangle shape, they constructed 7 layers, with cork separating the layers. To ensure that the structure didn't pop out the sides, they wrapped each layer with duct tape. That's it. Their structure was one of the lightest and held the most, 60 pounds. By a lot. The only thing that stopped them from adding more weight was the cork that became compressed enough for the top of the tester to meet the base. If they would have added another layer, they may have been able to hold more. No matter, they did an amazing job!
This is where the judges quizzed the kids on their structure, their ideas, their supplies, asking who came up with the design and idea for this structure, and who constructed it. Idea: Abi, Sami, & Sriyan. Construction: Tyson & Jack.
The kids had to sign a paper saying they had been honest in their competition. I'm telling you, it's seriously official, this competition.
Because of the time and stress this competition had put on us, I wasn't too excited about the prospect of continuing if they won a chance at State. But seeing them perform, watching them come up with that last component while the world buzzed all around them, I saw firsthand how much they'd earned a spot. Months-late start, younger kids on their team, language barriers, and a child that left early that morning because of the flu, all contributed what I can truly call "underdog" status. I wanted them to get a spot in State more than anything else.
They didn't. Out of 14 elementary groups for Engineering, our team was just 14 points shy of State. You'd think that would be a disappointment, but it's not. Oh, how proud I am of our little team. They missed it by a mere 14 points. 4th out of 14 is something to truly celebrate!!! The Engineering competition had the most teams enter. And we got top 4!
As we were walking out of the gym, the parents were talking about the points in the performance where they felt stress. One mother said, "I was sweating bullets..." when Tyson pipes up, "You were sweating bullets? No, I was sweating bullets. Seriously, I was so nervous I could feel the sweat going down my back!" And then our group of kids and adults bust into laughter. We'd done what we came to do: We gained experience and had a good time!
There was a team for Kindergarten (that wasn't judged, it's strictly for the experience, even though they do get 3rd place medals), 1 Medical Mystery team, and 2 Engineering teams. The other Engineering team was 4th and 5th graders. The last meeting that we had was on Friday after school From 2:15-6:00pm, we met at the school, finished up the paperwork, ran through our skit a few times, and then did a mock-competition with the other teams that could join us, so the kids could have more of an audience. It was really neat to see how much more prepared our kids were than the other team, especially knowing their ages. I've heard that coaching this age for DI is like herding cats. Having been to a few meetings, I could not agree more.
The coach can say nothing. Nothing! He cannot suggest materials for the project that they've come up with. He cannot tell them that they need to make sure that their parts are all equal and aligned, although you can tell that he really wanted to. He is there to make sure they stay on task, but cannot suggest what they can do to be on task. It's pretty intense. The rules are very specific. If the judges quiz the kids (and believe me, they really do!), and the kids cannot tell exactly how something came together, who had that idea, where they got those very specific supplies, they'll be disqualified from that portion of the point values. This is a competition for the kids, by the kids, and no amount of interference, suggestion, or help is accepted. At all!
You were expected to check your structure before performing. They'd weigh and measure, check your supplies, and then place it in a locked box that was given directly to the judges as you entered. I'm telling you, o-ffi-cial!
Once the weights were removed, Jack gave the mummy an ice cream cone as a reward. Oops, wrong flavor, the mummy turned back into a mean monster. Zeus, friend of our Engineering Archers, was summoned to throw down a lightning bolt that killed our mummy. The End.
I wish I would have gotten a picture of their structure. Gluing the 7.5" craft sticks into a triangle shape, they constructed 7 layers, with cork separating the layers. To ensure that the structure didn't pop out the sides, they wrapped each layer with duct tape. That's it. Their structure was one of the lightest and held the most, 60 pounds. By a lot. The only thing that stopped them from adding more weight was the cork that became compressed enough for the top of the tester to meet the base. If they would have added another layer, they may have been able to hold more. No matter, they did an amazing job!
Because of the time and stress this competition had put on us, I wasn't too excited about the prospect of continuing if they won a chance at State. But seeing them perform, watching them come up with that last component while the world buzzed all around them, I saw firsthand how much they'd earned a spot. Months-late start, younger kids on their team, language barriers, and a child that left early that morning because of the flu, all contributed what I can truly call "underdog" status. I wanted them to get a spot in State more than anything else.
They didn't. Out of 14 elementary groups for Engineering, our team was just 14 points shy of State. You'd think that would be a disappointment, but it's not. Oh, how proud I am of our little team. They missed it by a mere 14 points. 4th out of 14 is something to truly celebrate!!! The Engineering competition had the most teams enter. And we got top 4!
As we were walking out of the gym, the parents were talking about the points in the performance where they felt stress. One mother said, "I was sweating bullets..." when Tyson pipes up, "You were sweating bullets? No, I was sweating bullets. Seriously, I was so nervous I could feel the sweat going down my back!" And then our group of kids and adults bust into laughter. We'd done what we came to do: We gained experience and had a good time!
CONGRATULATIONS, ENGINEERING ARCHERS!!!
Saturday, March 2, 2019
Africa
You may think that my kids hate everything that I make for dinner, because I comment often about their complaints, but they like a majority of my meals. However, this is a funny post about a complaint.
Keilie didn't want to eat the vegetables in her meal, picking through the saucy noodles like they were landmines on the beaches of Guernsey (If you haven't read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society yet, DO!), when Randy started up his protests about complaining about food. You know the parental speech.
Keilie, petulantly, huffy, and under her breath said, "I'd gladly ship this off to Africa!"
Tension effectively diffused with laughter.
She didn't eat her vegetables... and went to bed early. Memories of when she said, at like two and a half years old, "That's ok, I like to starve" played in my mind as I laughed once again at her newest stubborn, defiant retort.
Keilie didn't want to eat the vegetables in her meal, picking through the saucy noodles like they were landmines on the beaches of Guernsey (If you haven't read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society yet, DO!), when Randy started up his protests about complaining about food. You know the parental speech.
Keilie, petulantly, huffy, and under her breath said, "I'd gladly ship this off to Africa!"
Tension effectively diffused with laughter.
She didn't eat her vegetables... and went to bed early. Memories of when she said, at like two and a half years old, "That's ok, I like to starve" played in my mind as I laughed once again at her newest stubborn, defiant retort.
Friday, March 1, 2019
Screamer
We've been having some pretty severe weather here for the past few weeks. In fact, we've surpassed the record of "Most Snowfall in February," set back in 1916, in half a month. It's been pretty intense, but not as intense as my driving experience in our new Expedition.
When taking the kids to school (yes, I know we live only a few blocks from the school) I always make a loop that directs me away from the crosswalks and major traffic jams. Plus, it allows me to drive by my favorite scenic walk spot of all time, one that I try to walk every day when the weather is not what it is recently.
On this morning last week I happened to be wearing a pair of sweats and thermals to keep warm. As I was walking out the door, I grabbed my plush, warm, gloriously hideous, terry cloth bath robe for an added layer of warmth. Little did I know, I'd come to regret that choice in less than ten minutes.
After dropping the boys off at their spot, I start heading up a pretty steep hill that's at the base of our "mountain." Knowing I'm from Utah, homegrown in the Rockies, you cannot, for one second, believe that I could ever consider our "mountain" a real mountain. Anyway, it is steep climb from where I drop them off to when I had my experience. Directly from dropping them off, I make a stop at a Stop sign to turn left, and then almost immediately make another stop at a Stop sign and turn right. The first stop had me sort of sliding around a bit, but nothing too crazy. The next stop was a bit more tricky.
Because of the record-breaking snow fall, our plows were behind. They were doing the best they could, but many of our roads had only been plowed one and a half lanes, some spots even less. The Right that I needed to make was actually onto a road that had actual ruts in the ice. You read that right, ICE. We'd had both freezing rain and melting snow that froze at night, in addition to all of the snow. It was a winter wonderland here, I tell you. With only one lane of ruts to turn into, I had to wait for a car to come down and turn next to me. Once the ruts were empty, I attempted to pull out. Attempted.
I started to really slide around. I was confused. Our Expedition handled far-and-away better in any condition, yet I was fish tailing like I've never done before. Ever in my life growing up in Utah, or braving the Wyoming winters for 7 years. It was scary. And so, so confusing. Figuring that I just needed to get to a place on the road where I could gain purchase, I floored the pedal. Burning rubber scents filled the car, but I wasn't going anywhere. In fact, I was sliding backwards into the wrong lane from where I had started out. My mind started down the path of doom.
I called Randy. Ring twice, voicemail. Usually when that happens it means he disregarded my call because he was on with someone else. He knew I had just taken the kids to school in that weather, I knew he was working on the computer, he must not realize I need help. So I called another three times. Same result. Well, now I was confused, scared, and freaking ticked off. I was screaming in my head, banshee-style, "If I call you four times in succession, you better get the message!" So I called home. And got voicemail. I knew he was there, so I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Randy, FREAKING PICK UP THE PHONE!!!" Truly, you have never seen a more enraged monster in any movie you've ever seen. Fire was billowing out my mouth, my forked tongue hissing out my screams, while my eyes flamed crimson red.
He answered. I screamed. "Well, why didn't you call my cell phone?" Oh, that did it. I became even more enraged, if that could even be possible. I was screaming like I've never screamed before. My throat was beginning to hurt. My eyes were beginning to hurt, they were bugging out so much. He would later have to prove to me that he'd never received even one of my calls. At this point, someone had seen that I wasn't making it up at that hill with my 4x4, so they tried to turn around, getting stuck perpendicular in the ice ruts, which then had someone higher on the hill try to turn around, themselves getting stuck. People above and below this triangle of stuck vehicles were turning around at evenly-timed intervals. It was horrible knowing I was the cause of it all. It was also very scary to think that if I couldn't get out of this with the better of our two cars, why was I even calling Randy to come help me? I was just going to be a huge bother, most likely getting both our cars stuck, and I was in my glorious, stay-at-home drop-off-line uniform: bathrobe over my bulky sweats and thermals. I was the Michelin Man with a greasy, slicked-back ponytail.
Knowing Randy was on his way came with mixed emotions. I needed my Mister in a way I don't usually, so I knew I would feel relief just seeing his face. But I was seriously scared that he'd get stuck before he even got to me, and that I would be alone in this, and cost us a bunch of money getting two cars towed. At this point, someone had made it past the car above and was trying to figure out how to turn onto the road I was blocking the correct entrance for. As I was instructing her to pass me on my right side, Randy called: "Steph, did you put the car in 4-wheel drive?" And then it hit me: this car is not like the car I had been driving for 10 years; it wasn't always in 4-wheel drive.
"Oh. My. Gosh. Honey, I'm not!" I reached down, twisted the knob that Randy had beamed over when we purchased this car because of the money saving potential, and felt like a total moron. It never even crossed my mind. I was in the big car, the one that handles better in the weather than our Yukon ever had, the one that tows better than our Yukon, and is better in every way than our Yukon. I was taking the better car that morning. I wasn't sliding around because of the car being in 2-wheel drive, I was sliding around because the street was an ice rink and I was trying to travel uphill! With the car on the right setting, I pulled out, no problem whatsoever. I wanted to cry not from relief, but from embarrassment.
Randy'd arrived just below the truck (truly was a 2-wheel drive truck, unlike mine), so we helped push him out, and he was on his way. Then I asked Randy to take the Expedition, now road warrior, up the hill to help the other woman that got stuck trying to turn around because the moron in the car that should have been able to handle the conditions was stuck and it scared her. At this point, I'd taken off my bathrobe and grabbed the coat I asked Randy to bring me when I thought we'd have to dig out. I was still in sweats, but I didn't look as frumpy. Well, I did, but I felt less frumpy, and that's all that matters. I jumped in the Charger (always 4-wheel drive, handles well in the snow, but not as well as the Expedition) and drove home. Randy arrived home 30 minutes later-- he'd actually towed the woman out using our Expedition and real tow straps.
With the adrenaline draining from me like water through a sieve, I thought back on all the emotions, feeling ashamed. Man, I was screaming! I listened to the recording of my voicemail, "Randy, FREAKING PICK UP THE PHONE!!!" And then I started to laugh. Really laugh. I sounded certifiably insane. I now know I am not a pretty crier or screamer. I now check that little knob every single time I get in the car, since the conditions change every day, multiple times a day. I learned that lesson well. I'm ready for this winter to be over...
When taking the kids to school (yes, I know we live only a few blocks from the school) I always make a loop that directs me away from the crosswalks and major traffic jams. Plus, it allows me to drive by my favorite scenic walk spot of all time, one that I try to walk every day when the weather is not what it is recently.
On this morning last week I happened to be wearing a pair of sweats and thermals to keep warm. As I was walking out the door, I grabbed my plush, warm, gloriously hideous, terry cloth bath robe for an added layer of warmth. Little did I know, I'd come to regret that choice in less than ten minutes.
After dropping the boys off at their spot, I start heading up a pretty steep hill that's at the base of our "mountain." Knowing I'm from Utah, homegrown in the Rockies, you cannot, for one second, believe that I could ever consider our "mountain" a real mountain. Anyway, it is steep climb from where I drop them off to when I had my experience. Directly from dropping them off, I make a stop at a Stop sign to turn left, and then almost immediately make another stop at a Stop sign and turn right. The first stop had me sort of sliding around a bit, but nothing too crazy. The next stop was a bit more tricky.
Because of the record-breaking snow fall, our plows were behind. They were doing the best they could, but many of our roads had only been plowed one and a half lanes, some spots even less. The Right that I needed to make was actually onto a road that had actual ruts in the ice. You read that right, ICE. We'd had both freezing rain and melting snow that froze at night, in addition to all of the snow. It was a winter wonderland here, I tell you. With only one lane of ruts to turn into, I had to wait for a car to come down and turn next to me. Once the ruts were empty, I attempted to pull out. Attempted.
I started to really slide around. I was confused. Our Expedition handled far-and-away better in any condition, yet I was fish tailing like I've never done before. Ever in my life growing up in Utah, or braving the Wyoming winters for 7 years. It was scary. And so, so confusing. Figuring that I just needed to get to a place on the road where I could gain purchase, I floored the pedal. Burning rubber scents filled the car, but I wasn't going anywhere. In fact, I was sliding backwards into the wrong lane from where I had started out. My mind started down the path of doom.
I called Randy. Ring twice, voicemail. Usually when that happens it means he disregarded my call because he was on with someone else. He knew I had just taken the kids to school in that weather, I knew he was working on the computer, he must not realize I need help. So I called another three times. Same result. Well, now I was confused, scared, and freaking ticked off. I was screaming in my head, banshee-style, "If I call you four times in succession, you better get the message!" So I called home. And got voicemail. I knew he was there, so I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Randy, FREAKING PICK UP THE PHONE!!!" Truly, you have never seen a more enraged monster in any movie you've ever seen. Fire was billowing out my mouth, my forked tongue hissing out my screams, while my eyes flamed crimson red.
He answered. I screamed. "Well, why didn't you call my cell phone?" Oh, that did it. I became even more enraged, if that could even be possible. I was screaming like I've never screamed before. My throat was beginning to hurt. My eyes were beginning to hurt, they were bugging out so much. He would later have to prove to me that he'd never received even one of my calls. At this point, someone had seen that I wasn't making it up at that hill with my 4x4, so they tried to turn around, getting stuck perpendicular in the ice ruts, which then had someone higher on the hill try to turn around, themselves getting stuck. People above and below this triangle of stuck vehicles were turning around at evenly-timed intervals. It was horrible knowing I was the cause of it all. It was also very scary to think that if I couldn't get out of this with the better of our two cars, why was I even calling Randy to come help me? I was just going to be a huge bother, most likely getting both our cars stuck, and I was in my glorious, stay-at-home drop-off-line uniform: bathrobe over my bulky sweats and thermals. I was the Michelin Man with a greasy, slicked-back ponytail.
Knowing Randy was on his way came with mixed emotions. I needed my Mister in a way I don't usually, so I knew I would feel relief just seeing his face. But I was seriously scared that he'd get stuck before he even got to me, and that I would be alone in this, and cost us a bunch of money getting two cars towed. At this point, someone had made it past the car above and was trying to figure out how to turn onto the road I was blocking the correct entrance for. As I was instructing her to pass me on my right side, Randy called: "Steph, did you put the car in 4-wheel drive?" And then it hit me: this car is not like the car I had been driving for 10 years; it wasn't always in 4-wheel drive.
"Oh. My. Gosh. Honey, I'm not!" I reached down, twisted the knob that Randy had beamed over when we purchased this car because of the money saving potential, and felt like a total moron. It never even crossed my mind. I was in the big car, the one that handles better in the weather than our Yukon ever had, the one that tows better than our Yukon, and is better in every way than our Yukon. I was taking the better car that morning. I wasn't sliding around because of the car being in 2-wheel drive, I was sliding around because the street was an ice rink and I was trying to travel uphill! With the car on the right setting, I pulled out, no problem whatsoever. I wanted to cry not from relief, but from embarrassment.
Randy'd arrived just below the truck (truly was a 2-wheel drive truck, unlike mine), so we helped push him out, and he was on his way. Then I asked Randy to take the Expedition, now road warrior, up the hill to help the other woman that got stuck trying to turn around because the moron in the car that should have been able to handle the conditions was stuck and it scared her. At this point, I'd taken off my bathrobe and grabbed the coat I asked Randy to bring me when I thought we'd have to dig out. I was still in sweats, but I didn't look as frumpy. Well, I did, but I felt less frumpy, and that's all that matters. I jumped in the Charger (always 4-wheel drive, handles well in the snow, but not as well as the Expedition) and drove home. Randy arrived home 30 minutes later-- he'd actually towed the woman out using our Expedition and real tow straps.
With the adrenaline draining from me like water through a sieve, I thought back on all the emotions, feeling ashamed. Man, I was screaming! I listened to the recording of my voicemail, "Randy, FREAKING PICK UP THE PHONE!!!" And then I started to laugh. Really laugh. I sounded certifiably insane. I now know I am not a pretty crier or screamer. I now check that little knob every single time I get in the car, since the conditions change every day, multiple times a day. I learned that lesson well. I'm ready for this winter to be over...
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