The Mind

While taking Keilie to swim lessons yesterday, I thought I saw a friend from Casper that I haven't seen in more than 5 years.  I've kept up with her blog every once in a while, but haven't seen her.  In fact, she doesn't post many pictures, so I probably haven't seen her in as many years.  Anyway, I had a string of thought that went something like this.  "Oh, that looks like Kimber.  I wonder what she's doing.  I wonder how she is.  Wouldn't it be cool to have a friend show up in the same town.  We could just pick up where we left off.  What was her number?  I should call her."  Since it has been that many years, I couldn't really remember it all.  I know the area code and that it ended in "hundred," but that was all.  Last night in my dream I picked up a phone and dialed her number with ease.  Isn't it crazy how our minds work?  How we have that kind of information stored, but can't always pull it to the front, so to speak.  Sometimes my dreams are the best way for me to think.  Other times it's my worst enemy.  Recently I've been known to scream out loud, stand on the bed, step on Randy, break our ceiling fan, and even kick Randy out of bed.  Nightmares that come as an adult are not my favorite! 

You can imagine so much more when you know the evils of this world!

Beads

We woke up to Tyson telling us that his nose hurt.  We found a bright blue bead stuck in his right nostril.  Great!  We tried to make him sneeze by spraying perfume straight up his nose.  Nothing!  We were sure that an ER visit would be the beginning of our day.  Randy tried tweezers as a last resort, gently as not to lodge it further.  Luckily he got it right out.  This day is going to be awesome!
Guess who cried when I wouldn't give the bead back?  I had NO problem throwing it away while he watched and cried!
Another notch on my "World's worst mom" belt!  For the record...I am not invited to his Birthday!

White River Campgrounds

July 19-20, 2013

White River Campgrounds

Randy took a random Friday off of work.  It ended up being a great weekend to go camping in Mt. Rainier National Forest with Jamie and Cameron.  We had reserved a spot at Crow Butte, but decided to go to the Westside when the forecast said 102 degrees both Friday and Saturday.  Our initial plan was to go to Ohanapacosh which is a 2 1/2 hour drive.  We left promptly at 9:30 hoping to get one of the 38 first-come-first-serve spot.  No such luck.  We headed another 45 minutes to White River campgrounds and lucked out.  We found two next to each other and began setting up camp.

The view of Mount Rainier is so beautiful.  Remember, this is the middle of July.  Look at all of that snow. 

 The river running through the valley is White River. 

 We set up a little of camp and decided to take a hike during the hottest part of the day.  We were all a little stir crazy after so much driving.

 At the trail head.  Randy was taking something back to the car, so I got a quick picture with my kiddos.

 We took the hike down by the river.  It is so vast and so beautiful!

 The water truly is White!  It looks this way because of the arctic run-off.  Cameron said that all of the rivers in Alaska looked like this.  It was seriously cold!  It sure felt nice on my feet after wearing shoes and socks all day.  I can't tell you how much I HATE shoes!

 It was running so fast.  At one point, it sounded like thunder or fireworks.  It turns out, it was moving boulders in the current.  So majestic!

 My explorers!

 It was nice to just sit next to the river.  The rush gave off the most luxurious breeze that cooled even though we sat in the direct sunlight.  It was such a nice time.

 The water may be icy white, but the dirt underneath was the darkest black.  It was almost as if it was sludge.  Or an oil slick.

 Isn't that so gorgeous?!

 It was fun to watch Tyson use the stick as a bow staff.  He was wielding it around with sound effects.  It was just so cute!

 Caden and Randy decided they needed to make a dam.  The rushing river made it pretty much impossible to get a pool big enough to wade in.

 Can you spot the splash Randy made with a boulder?

 I love that my little Keilie does what the big boys do.  She is always up to go exploring and love to follow after Randy and Caden.  She's good to keep up, and only occasionally needs assistance.  Kudos to my sweet girl!

 I LOVE this family!!!

 Jamie helping Cassidy with her dinner.  Evelyn was already a pro!  Little Caleb can barely be seen.  She's due on August 21.  We'll see if she makes it that long.  Both of her girls were exactly 16 days early.  We're both ready for him to come.  Her for obvious reasons, me to hold a baby again.  Love me some baby snuggles!  I understand that she's big for her usual size, but man, she is so tiny for how big I get!  I was due August 27, 2003 with Keilie and gained twice (truly) as much as she's gained.  I was MASSIVE by this time.  She's such a sport to have gone camping!!  I admire her for more reasons that one!

 Dinner!  Yummy!

 Cutest train ever!  Love how well these five get along.  Shelby will be in First grade, Brennon and Evelyn will go to Kindergarten, and we figured out that Tyson and Cassidy will head to Kindergarten together in two years.  Crazy how that works.  Tyson will be one of the oldest, while Cassidy will be one of the youngest- like me!  But not as young as Keilie.  Remember, she started Kindergarten and then celebrated her 5th birthday 4 days later!  Now that's young!

 Love my B-boy's face.  He's been having such a fun silly face phase.  He can make these kind as long as he continues to give me his award-winning grins on other more-important ones!

 I love the lazy times of camping.  Sitting around the fire is the best.  I love the fire, just not how it makes you smell when you get home:)

 I think this boy is a bit tired:)

 We're sleeping soundly while others play around us.

 Just kidding!!  We had you fooled, didn't we?!  I'm pretty much the worst pretend sleeper.  Ever!  Not to worry, I have no plans of quitting my day job for a career in acting!

 Again, we tried our hand at pretend sleeping.  Brennon wins.  Then Tyson.  Shelby looses.  She's got my acting genes, apparently.

Caden got to take his own little tent.  We got this for him in 2002.  Can you believe how well this things has held up?  It's fun for him to be able to be a little more independent, but still close to me.  He set it up all by himself!  We had such a good time with the Burch's.  We've made a plan to do it again year after year.  We staked out the spots we want next year to ensure we get a spot next to the river.  Next time we're not leaving it up to chance!

Lesson

I used my ring trial as the basis for my FHE lesson this week.  Since it was still fresh on everyone's mind, I knew it was a perfect opportunity to teach about the Lord's time.  While sitting in Sacrament meeting directly after Randy had found it, I had a thought hit me pretty hard.  If I would have found it Wednesday night after I prayed to find it for family prayer I wouldn't have learned the same lesson.  We wouldn't have learned the same lesson.  I had to get to my most hopeless state, feel as if I would never see it again, to fully understand the blessing I was given.  Just like Lazarus.  His sisters knew that if Jesus had been there while their brother was alive, but deathly ill, He could have healed him.  However, the true miracle came because Jesus waited.  Just like the song by Kenneth Cope, "If he had been here, when we hoped he'd been here, we might be doubting his power over death."  My ring was definitely not a life or death miracle, but it did teach me a profound lesson.  My Heavenly Father loves me.  He answered my prayers for something as insignificant as a worldly ring.  He waited to bless me with my miracle until my hope was gone, my resolve set that I would never see it again, before he showed me his power.  He answers prayers.  Sometimes his answer is no, just as my two lost babies had been.  Sometimes his answer is not yet.  Sometimes we need to be tested.  But our prayers will always be heard by our Heavenly Father.  He loves us, He wants to bless us.  He knows the desires of our hearts and wants us to return to live with Him again.  Randy ended up finding the ring in our closet.  He doesn't really understand how it happened, either.  He was pretty confused as to how it all came about.  I was too!  The night before I had been on my hands and knees combing that very carpet.  Randy said it could have fallen out of a crevice of a suitcase he took out to get ready for today's business trip, it could have fallen when he moved around some of the baskets we use as "drawers," or it could have come out when he pulled his socks out.  Regardless, it was pretty camouflaged in the carpet.  I have no idea how I missed it, my fingers touched every inch of that carpet.  Again, I know that finding my ring didn't save lives, didn't restore health to the masses, will not be broadcast on national television as a remarkable story, but to me, it meant the world. 

I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, who loves me, and I love Him!

Tender Mercy

It's lost! 

My ring is lost.  Tyson has admitted to taking my ring.  The hard part is that he can't remember where he placed it.  He doesn't understand that he's shot a hole straight through my heart.  He doesn't realize that when he says "I took it because I love you" he's making me even sadder.  He's come up with a few hundred stories as to where it is, all of which I can't believe, but still hope one might be true.  "It fell through the floor with the ants and then fell into the grass with them."  This one had Caden out twice in both the front and back yard with his metal detector.  Nothing.  Then he told me that he had dropped it in the hallway.  There was a pile of clothes slotted for the washer, so I checked through the load.  Nothing.  So, I looked through every piece of clothing we own.  Including the ones that were hanging up already.  I remembered the time when my friend Kim Longhurst found her wedding ring in a sweater she was wearing at a friend's baby shower.  We all heard a gasp, looked to Kim and saw her start crying with her ring held up for everyone to see.  She had been looking for it for years and finally found it.  She had even checked all of her pockets.  This prompted me to look again in every piece of clothing we own.  Nothing.  As the hours passed (and now days), my hope dwindled more and more.  I found myself falling to the floor in agony because my legs couldn't hold me up any longer.  Or gasping for breath as the tears fell from my eyes.  This is the only worldly thing that I care most about.  My ring is my most favorite possession, my most favorite gift I've ever been given.  The thing that I don't share with anyone.  It's all mine and makes me the most happy.  And it's gone!!!  The last time I felt this bleak was September 10, 2005 when I found out that a second baby had died in my womb in less than a year.  The baby that I was told I had a less than 3% chance of losing.  I wondered if I was going to have any more babies, asking my Heavenly Father why I was being denied this righteous desire.  I was in total despair.  I feel it again, except this time I have no chance of obtaining my desire.  It's not like there is another waiting in heaven to join my family, one destined to be mine.  I have searched my entire house on hands and knees, touched everything in our home twice, called everywhere we went on Wednesday asking if they'd found a ring that could have been dropped by my three year old son, cried so many tears, and prayed so many times.  And then looked again.  I can't find it!!  I don't know where else to look.  I don't know what else to do.  I don't know which of Ty's many stories is the one that ultimately was the right one.  I don't know if I'll ever see my ring again!!!  I don't know if someone found it, if they appreciate the value it holds to me.  I wish I hadn't known that you shouldn't wear your ring to wash your hands, shower, or wear your ring to bed.  I wish I was able to wear it at all times.  I wish I hadn't gained weight to make it uncomfortable to wear.  I wish I didn't need to have it next to my bed or else I'd forget to put it on each morning.  I wish, I wish, I wish... it doesn't really matter now.  I don't have my wedding ring!  And I don't know how I'll ever stop this hurt.

 

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Randy found it!!  Miracle of all miracles, he found it!!

I first noticed that it was missing at 8:04PM on Wednesday.  It has been the hardest 91.5 hours of my entire life! 

This morning, I asked Tyson again where I should look. 

"In the toilet.  I put it in the toilet.  Next, I flushed it."

I acted nonchalant, while dying a little on the inside.  He'd flushed my ring down the toilet?  Is he telling the truth this time?  I told Randy that of all of the stories he's come up with, this one makes me the most sad.  As we were getting ready for church this afternoon, Randy came to me and asked, "Will you marry me?" while opening his hand to reveal my ring.  Again my legs felt weak, my head felt faint, my heart beat fast, and I burst into more tears.  He joked that I had more of an emotional reaction this time than the first time he asked me.  It's true!!  I knew he was going to as me to be his Eternal Companion sometime, I never thought I'd see that ring again.  I had written the above post but couldn't post it because I couldn't proof read it through my tears and anguish.  Today I can, because these are tears of joy!  Such a tender mercy I've received today.  Keilie prayed this week that I'd be blessed with the miracle of finding my ring.  I know with every part of my heart that it was found because of her faith, and the faith of many others.  Ashlee asked me what Randy had said when I told him I couldn't find it. 

 "Honey, you're not going to get out of our marriage that easy.  I'm not letting you go!"

And just like that I was reminded that I married the best man on this earth.  He not only gave me the best worldly gift I've ever gotten, but is also the best gift I get to take with me into the Eternities!

 

Snarls? Nope!

The morning after her haircut, Shelby was seen carrying around a brush the whole day and preening herself in the reflective piano.  I asked her if she still liked her choice, to which she said in an exasperated voice, "MOM, there are no snarls! I can brush my hair by myself now!!" All of this was said while bouncing up and down, clapping, and giggling.  I was so happy.  While talking to my friend Jamie about it, she commented that she had longer hair than Shelby when she was in third grade and got a huge cut.  She said it wasn't a big deal to her then, either.  It might be because Shelby hasn't waited for her hair to grow long.  She just went from a nearly-bald 3 year old to a Rapunzel 6 year old.  No waiting, just living.  All I know is that we both love that we don't cry each day because of her hair! 

Locks of Love

Each and every time I brush this girls' hair there are tears.  Each time we go somewhere, she knows I'm going to do her hair, to which her request is, "Please don't brush my hair!" It was a scream-fest each time.  Not just her, either! It was getting out of control.  So when she asked to cut her hair, I knew I wanted to donate it instead of taking off a few inches.  I pulled up the Locks of Love website to show her what she could do with her hair.  At first she was all for giving it to someone that needed it.  After she saw the pictures of girls that were bald and then with wigs, she changed her mind saying "I don't want daddy to freak out!"  A few days later she asked again if she could get a haircut.  She said, "Mom, will I have to take my wig off?" I was so confused!!  She said, "At night?  Will I have to take my wig off to sleep?"  Then it dawned on me, she thought she was going to be the bald little girl getting the wig.  She thought I was suggesting that she cut off all of her hair to give and then she'd be the one getting a wig.  So, I talked to her again about what she'd do and told her to let me know if that was something she wanted to do.  Today she asked if I'd make an appointment.  So I did!

 She was bawling her eyes out while I washed it, picked through it out, dried it, and then brushed it again.  I made her smile after each:)

 So long and beautiful!!

 Down to her waist!!  And so golden!!

 Sitting in the Barbie Jeep, ready to go!!

 Look at how fun this place is.  Monkey Dooz in Richland is a Party Place that cuts hair, does nails, and hosts parties.  It's perfect for kids!  Each station had a screen for them to watch a movie!!

 Her hair dresser decided to do two ponytails so that we could keep the hair longer in the front.  I was all for keeping it longer than the "pixie" she had to have when Keilie chopped her hair HERE! Or when I had to shave it HERE!

 The first cut!! She was too engrossed in her show to even care what was going on!  I was more affected than she was!

 Doesn't she have the cutest face?!

 I forgot to actually measure these bad-boys, but you have to have at least 10 inches tip to tip.  From where I measured the other day, these are right about at 10 inches.

 Love the stacked look in the back!  And that face of concentration watching her show:)

 All done!  Ta-da!!  Love this little girls' decision to give it to someone that really needs it!!  When we went to pay, the girl said they always do FREE haircuts for Locks of Love.  I only had to pay for her tip and send it off.

 Missing her Golden Curtain of hair, but still such a cute little girl!!  It will grow back- it only took 3 years to go from practically bald (click link to see more pictures) to her waist/lower back.  And...she has 18 1/2 months to grow it long for her BAPTISM!!!  I'm guessing it will be to the mid/bottom of her shoulder blades with how fast her hair grows!!  Good thing we'll have a perfect reference.  And that this haircut wasn't as traumatizing as her last one!

I sure love this little sweetie!!