Three Boards

When Caden was testing for Yellow Belt at the end of June, his Master asked him, "So, Caden, two or three?"

(Hesitantly) "Uh...three?!"

"That's what I hoped you'd say!"

That's my son.  The one that had an unknown tumor on his lungs.  I can't help thinking that that is what he's going to do this this cancer stuff that is really starting to tick.me.off.

Or maybe this...

What does Randy want to do the morning after hearing such devastating news?  Shoot guns, of course!  Let's all pretend that he's aiming at cancer in general.  He has good aim, to tell you the truth.

Like last time, Caden was in desperate need of a haircut when we heard the sucky news.  His answer to the haircut needs? 

"Well, I don't need a haircut now.  We'll just wait for it to fall out again."  No joking, no sadness, just matter-of-fact like. 

Knowing that he was probably going to go to EFY- the place where he will hear amazing talks from amazing people, but also the place that we know he will meet girls- I couldn't allow him to go with such shaggy hair.  Grateful he has hair, just not so unkept.

Uncle Russ to the rescue...

 Poor lighting, but you can still see the mop-on-top.

 Can you imagine a more handsome boy?  I can't.  That's my son.  What a looker!  Watch out girls, he's going to EFY!

 Naturally, Brennon wanted to be just like Caden.  He didn't need a cut, but Russ didn't mind.  He got a nice little "trim."

Can you imagine a better little brother?!  I sure can't.  This boy idolizes his big brother.  I sure love this boy.

Since we were supposed to be in Utah today, going to Lagoon for FREE, we decided to go to an amusement park closer to home.  We are SO grateful for the World Passport For Kids that was given to us by Give Kids The World.  It will allow us to visit many amusement parks for free this summer.  I sure hope we can visit as many as we had wanted to!

Time to get my scream ready.  I plan to go on them all!  This is the one instance where I enjoy roller coasters, after all!

Miracles.

Today is a good day.  The shock stage of this process has somewhat passed.  It's not to say that we don't have thoughts that bring heart-gripping fear, but today is going to be a great day. 

We're ready to fight.  Hard.

We're to the point that we just want to get going.  Tomorrow morning can't come soon enough.  I'm probably going to call and leave a voicemail for the cancer-care scheduler tonight and then call her first thing in the morning.  She works with this kind of thing all the time, sad to say.  The difference now?  She's calling to make appointments for my son.  And in my world, no one is more important that my family.

While showering this morning, praying thanks for my healthy living son, a thought popped into my head that has me excited.  It may not be an option, but it's something that is giving me strength in this very minute.  And when you're working with cancer, you tend to work minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, and hope to make it month-by-month.

My thought: While watching a televised fundraiser for Seattle Children's last year, they did a segment on a boy that had had cancer many times.  In fact, one day while at clinic, we saw this boy with his camera crew.  Let me tell you, I had NO desire to be seen on TV, so we hid out around the corner from all of the action.  It came as quite a surprise to see him on TV a few days later.  This boy was able to tell his story to those that were watching.  He was trying a new therapy where they use the child's own immune system to kill the cancer.  And you know what?  It's working!!  Maybe, just maybe, this may be something that Caden could try.  A new modern-miracle that could save my son once more.

I realize that it may not even be an option, but to me, this very morning, it is a miracle in itself.  A thought placed into the mind of a mother that has been plagued with horrible, awful, scary thoughts for the past two days.  At the moment it popped into my mind, my heart was able to fly free for just a moment.  A layer of fear was loosened from my constantly restricted heart.  I was given a miracle today.

Another thought: If my Heavenly Father can make it so Caden could meet Brian Regan, make it so much better than we ever could have imagined, then He can make it so Caden will be able to attend EFY at BYU the Monday after his surgery.  Caden is going to need the strength given at EFY to sustain him for the coming days, months, and hopefully years. *Finger crossed*  To me, it says: "We'll give him the minimally invasive surgery, that has a 1-3 day recovery time- to show you that I am with you.  Always.  That I have not abandoned you at this time of trial.  That although you are asked to travel once more the road of misery, I am here.  Always."  I was given a miracle today.

Some would say that Caden's cancer is the exact opposite of a loving Heavenly Father.  I refuse to believe that.  That's not to say that I don't hate, hate, HATE this situation, but that I have faith in a Heavenly Father that gives me what I need.  That has given Caden an incredible year's break.  That we have had a whole year of FUN and LOVE and MIRACLES!  And to be completely honest, the fact that I was given Caden as my son is a miracle, too.  I have been given many miracles.

Let's do this.  Let's fight!

The Unknown

I don't think there is any way to describe the emotions that are swirling around all of our heads right now.  There is a little bit of everything- including gratitude, hard to believe as it is.  The biggest emotion right now being grief.  Maybe shock.  And fear- there is a lot of that, too.

We still don't have many answers.  It has not been "confirmed" to us that it is cancer, but we know that it is.  From the very beginning of his "cancer free" status, they have told us that if it were to come back, it would be in his lungs.  That is the one place that they have always looked to closest.  I realize that we were about to celebrate his 1-year anniversary, however, it was really a three-month anniversary.  That pea-sized tumor was not there three months ago!  And now it is.  And everything is a black hole.  My Caden has cancer.

The tumor is too small to get enough of a sample for pathology, so radiation is going to help guide the surgeon to the tumor to remove it in its entirety.  This is a very good thing.  All of the research that Randy has done on the Internet (I know we said that we wouldn't do this again, but we are terrified of the unknown) has said that resection is the best option for cases such as this.  After the resection and testing of the tumor, Randy, Caden, and I will meet with a team of doctors to be given options.  Unlike last time- since this is a recurrence- there isn't just one road to take that will give us the best results.  We have options- it's just sort of a gamble as to which one is best.  Russian Roulette at it's medical best, ladies and gentleman.

As far as useful information from the Internet search, there really isn't anything good.  Just like Caden's rare case before, this one doesn't have much, either.  There was stuff to corroborate the information we were told from the very beginning, stuff that allayed some of our fears, and definitely some that fueled them.  Fueled them like gasoline added to an already out-of-control forest fire.  With no water in sight.  And all of the firemen resting from a previous fire.  My warrior has cancer.

While waiting for the news from Sue, we met up with a nurse that we got to know very well.  She didn't recognize us.  The look of recognition/shock to see my Caden with hair, meat on his bones, and some beautiful golden-tan skin was amazing.  She asked Caden, "How has your summer been?"

Caden: "Better than the last one." Referring to our month-late start last year.  At the time, I couldn't have agreed more.

As it turns out: I would take last year's summer news and hardships over this year's summer news ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.

MY SONS HAS CANCER!!!!!

Please pray for us.  This time is a lot more serious and worrisome.  As if last time wasn't scary at all!

STUPID CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lungs

The scan found something.

Biopsy next week. 

Happy 1- year anniversary. 

Stupid Cancer

5:30 Update

Driving home now. The tumor is too small to biopsy, but big enough to be a concern. Caden will have surgery next week to remove the tumor from his lungs.  We call on Monday for the exact day. 

Caden said, "This time is a lot less painful." Referring to the tumor that was pushing his insides to breaking point last time. In my mind, this is just as painful. It is never easy to hear that your son's life is threatened. This is some serious stuff. 

More news to follow when we get it. 

Cancer sucks. 

Mice

The first argument has happened. 15 days of bliss dissolved into one morning of arguing. Ash and I heard Shelby and McKaylee screaming from downstairs. 

Me: "Shelby, why are you screaming at McKaylee?!"

Shelby: "I wasn't screaming!! (She said this while screaming at me) I was yelling!!"

Apparently there is a difference. 

Oh, the tears. Oh, the drama. All over a simple game of Mouse Trap. Curse those dang mice!!

Consequences

Tyson got sent to bed early last night for being a pester all day.  He just couldn't help himself from being in everyone's personal space.  No matter how many times they asked him to, "Please, stop!" he kept right at it.  Finally, we'd all had enough, so he was sent to bed 15 minutes early.  He'd been going on like this for five minutes before I decided to capture the ridiculousness.  It's more of a sound-bite than an actual video (I was just outside his cracked-door), so don't worry about watching- just listen.  I find him to be completely adorable.  Especially since he had no tears staining his cheeks.

By-the-way, it turned into a great lesson on consequences and how they are not meant to be something that you like or enjoy.  Great teaching moment for the "meany" mother.

Future reference

In case you have plans to light fireworks any time the rest of the year (or your life) I wanted to let you in on a life-hack from the infamous Randy Dirks. 

Use the right tool for the right job. 

Hate striking matches each time? Why not use a Blow Torch?!?!

One more...

How do you get your money's worth from Sparklers?!?!

Use that Blow Torch to light all of them at the end. Makes for easy cleanup. Incinerate them, then simply sweep up the ash. 

There you have it. The secret to a better firework experience!

Stethoscopes

Without the need of the stethoscope for Caden's medical needs, the kids have found a better use for them. 

We have two puppies that are "owned" and five that are strays. They each take turns as either owner, owned, or stray. 

Love the sound of barking first thing in the morning!!

Science

We have this swimming stuff down to a science. Our large seat belt purse is always filled with goggles, toys, and aloe Vera. It holds the blue bag full of sunscreen (we have 30 spray cans, found at Target, on sale). Our towels are carried in around each of our necks. Life jackets are worn in and out by those that need them. Snacks and newly-named water bottles are carried in one perfectly-sized box. We each have our "chore." Life is good when spent lounging next to the pool each afternoon. 

Baby sister

Tyson: "Mom, when is my baby sister going to be born?"

Gasp!! Is he implying that we have another girl in heaven, waiting?

Nah, we're ALL just smitten with Aria!

If I could have a baby girl simply placed in my arms, I would consider having another child. Especially one as cute as Aria!!

Nap time!!

So Austen sleeps here...

And Aria sleeps here...

We have been partying so hard, everywhere is a comfortable place to stop, drop, and snooze. 

Secrets

Austen:

"Why are all of the Daddy bellies bigger than the Mommy bellies, at this pool?"

Tyson:

"Because they get to have ice cream for dinner, that's why."

Brennon:

"When I'm a Dad, I'm only going to buy my kids vanilla ice cream.  Then I won't be fat."

The secret we have all been dying to know:  Vanilla keeps you skinny!

Cousins

 Over the years, we've had chances to get our kids together for long periods of time.

February 2008

 Grandpa's Girls

 Grandma's Grandkids

October 2008

The Three Good Fairies

October 2009

However, it has been this extended period of time that has been my favorite.  The kids have been together for an entire week, never being separated for more than a few minutes, yet they have not complained once.  They have not fought.  They have played with each of their cousins.  They have been having the time of their lives.  They have a Bestie every place they look.  

I'm liking this family time!!!

July 17th

It is decided: July 17th will be the celebration and anniversary day of Caden being Cancer Free!!  How are we going to celebrate this first year?  By getting another Scan, silly!  It works out nicely that it falls on a weekday.

Because it has been a year, an echocardiogram has also been scheduled.  They checked his heart before chemo, during chemo, directly after chemo, and now.  I'm not sure how many more echos he'll need, but I'm not too worried about his heart.  He is an angel.

With the extra 6 peeps living in our 1730 square foot home, we are all a little cramped.  Good cramped, but cramped just the same.  I don't think a single child has slept in the same bed since Ashlee and Russ arrived with their girls on Monday evening.  No one is complaining.  And I mean no one.  It has been a joy to see all of the kids play so well together.  They each have an extra friend anytime they want. 

With Caden being the oldest grandchild on the Burrell side, and Keilie being the second oldest, they tend to feel a bit invisible when we all get together.  They are both invited to the "adult table" but they don't quite fit into the conversations, yet.  So, being in-between, you'd completely understand that they don't really fit with the adults, but they aren't babies either.  I would understand if they wanted to hide out in their rooms.  However, being Caden- the kid that all kids gravitate to- he has gotten down on the floor and played with each of the kids.  He drew the line at dolls, but he has been a "stray puppy" for one of them to find and love, has shared his electronics when one of them hasn't had a turn, and has taken each of them for special time at the pool.  He doesn't treat them with contempt, although he does feel the pressure with 13 people sharing a four-bedroom house.  His heart has the capacity to hold a lot of loving. 

All of my children have big hearts, we just don't ever get to really see them on screen.

Once the scan results are read, the statistics drop dramatically that he will get cancer again.  The extra Rounds were administered to kill any extra cancer bugs, the scans have been given to monitor any activity (although CT scans have been linked to causing cancer- go figure) and once the first year is done, his chances go down with each passing scan. 

So, I think we should do something HUGE for his anniversary.  Any suggestions?!

102 degrees

What would you wear in the house if it was 102 degrees outside? Tyson has a suggestion.

Not close enough for ya?

That's better.

What would you like to do on a day that it is 102 degrees? Austen has a suggestion for ya. 

This sweetheart fell asleep, waiting.

So we'll see what Aria wants to do. 

And

With all of the heat and sun, let ME show you what I want to do when the temperature is over 100 for the last 10 days, and is scheduled for 10 days more. 

For the record...Ash and Russ are moving from Dallas Texas. As of right now, Richland is TWELVE degrees hotter than Dallas. 

"I'm melting!! I'm melting!!!"

Yellow Belt

The kids tested for Yellow Belt in Taekwondo on Saturday. It was such a cool experience. They were so excited, nervous, and focused. It was amazing to see their dedication pay off.

It was my kids, and another little boy named Bryson. Ages 13,8,7,6, and 5. Perfect. 

Tyson was having a hard time not watching the other kids, so he was called on to do most of his stuff alone. We know he knows it, but he was so concerned by getting it wrong, that he would mess up watching someone else. Alone- that boy did great. 

Shelby and Caden did their side kicks together. 

Love their form. 

I didn't get good action shots of all of them. Loved this one of Brennon. 

And this one of Caden. 

Caden did his form (key-cho-young) first. Flawless. 

I still need to download the videos. 

Brennon was next.

He still makes me smile at his intensity. 

Shelby was the only girl, but by far the most enthusiastic. She can "yah" better than anyone. 

This was the best I could get of Tyson, unfortunately. My phone was starting to act up. 

Shelby got her Belt first. 

Then Brennon. 

Caden. 

And, finally, Tyson. 

Bowing to the flags. 

Caden, Shelby, Tyson, Bryson, Brennon.

Thank You to parents. 

Thank You Mr. Eric. 

The newest Yellow Belts!

My FAVORITE Yellow Belts!!!