Miracles.

Today is a good day.  The shock stage of this process has somewhat passed.  It's not to say that we don't have thoughts that bring heart-gripping fear, but today is going to be a great day. 

We're ready to fight.  Hard.

We're to the point that we just want to get going.  Tomorrow morning can't come soon enough.  I'm probably going to call and leave a voicemail for the cancer-care scheduler tonight and then call her first thing in the morning.  She works with this kind of thing all the time, sad to say.  The difference now?  She's calling to make appointments for my son.  And in my world, no one is more important that my family.

While showering this morning, praying thanks for my healthy living son, a thought popped into my head that has me excited.  It may not be an option, but it's something that is giving me strength in this very minute.  And when you're working with cancer, you tend to work minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, and hope to make it month-by-month.

My thought: While watching a televised fundraiser for Seattle Children's last year, they did a segment on a boy that had had cancer many times.  In fact, one day while at clinic, we saw this boy with his camera crew.  Let me tell you, I had NO desire to be seen on TV, so we hid out around the corner from all of the action.  It came as quite a surprise to see him on TV a few days later.  This boy was able to tell his story to those that were watching.  He was trying a new therapy where they use the child's own immune system to kill the cancer.  And you know what?  It's working!!  Maybe, just maybe, this may be something that Caden could try.  A new modern-miracle that could save my son once more.

I realize that it may not even be an option, but to me, this very morning, it is a miracle in itself.  A thought placed into the mind of a mother that has been plagued with horrible, awful, scary thoughts for the past two days.  At the moment it popped into my mind, my heart was able to fly free for just a moment.  A layer of fear was loosened from my constantly restricted heart.  I was given a miracle today.

Another thought: If my Heavenly Father can make it so Caden could meet Brian Regan, make it so much better than we ever could have imagined, then He can make it so Caden will be able to attend EFY at BYU the Monday after his surgery.  Caden is going to need the strength given at EFY to sustain him for the coming days, months, and hopefully years. *Finger crossed*  To me, it says: "We'll give him the minimally invasive surgery, that has a 1-3 day recovery time- to show you that I am with you.  Always.  That I have not abandoned you at this time of trial.  That although you are asked to travel once more the road of misery, I am here.  Always."  I was given a miracle today.

Some would say that Caden's cancer is the exact opposite of a loving Heavenly Father.  I refuse to believe that.  That's not to say that I don't hate, hate, HATE this situation, but that I have faith in a Heavenly Father that gives me what I need.  That has given Caden an incredible year's break.  That we have had a whole year of FUN and LOVE and MIRACLES!  And to be completely honest, the fact that I was given Caden as my son is a miracle, too.  I have been given many miracles.

Let's do this.  Let's fight!