Rivalry

One of my favorite things to do is put my kids to bed. I love the last hugs and kisses as they prepare for bed, most times telling me it is their bedtime. Their arms are a bit sluggish with exhaustion, so they hold on a bit deeper and for a bit longer. It was one of the hardest things to realize that I couldn't do during cancer care. I missed it. 

Last night was a hard night for me. I'm not even sure why, but it was. I didn't really want to put them to bed, but I hoped it would make me feel a bit better, so I did. Tyson scrambled to be the first one to give me a hug and kiss, bragging to Brennon that he got to be first. 

Brennon got out of bed, looked me in the eye, "I love you, Mommy," and grabbed my neck. I talked in my head, telling myself to be grateful that I got to do this tonight, telling myself to be grateful that my kids were all healthy, just looking for the good in everything that I could. That was short lived, I was just not in a good mood. However, Brennon was still holding on. Not wanting to pull away first, I just sat there, accepting a hug that I was ready to be done with. Like I said, I was in a bad mood. After a while, it felt like he was smothering me, so I looked over to see the look on his face. If he looked serene, I would suffer a bit longer. That was not the case. 

That boy had a smug little look on his face, eyes trained on Tyson as if to say, "I get to hug mom the longest!! Neener, neener, neener!!" I told him to get his butt into bed. Trying not to laugh. 

Tyson: "One more hug, mom!"

I said no. But not because I was in a bad mood. Those boys and their rivalry!!