Radiation

It was nice to immediately feel at ease when the radiation specialist walked in today.  I knew before he shook my hand, as he was shaking Caden's first, that I was going to like him.  It was even nicer for him to start off our meeting with a special request from friends that lived across the street from us on The Loop, that he take good care of us, and give us their love from Minnesota.  Hi, Karlee and Kyle!!!  Kyle was in his 3rd year of medical school when he did rotations with Dr. Jones.  They have remained in contact, enough for Kyle to reach out to him when he learned of the connection.  That made me like Dr. Jones even more.  I know we are in good hands.

So, here's the skinny:  After agreeing with him on his assessment of Caden's case, we have agreed to meet with him on Thursday for a CT scan to map out the exact location of all known tumors.  He will put measurements (kind of like a latitude and longitude kind of thing for his body) into the system, so that we can radiate the exact spots each time.  Each and every time, they'll have the laser set based on those measurements, and then double check each place with an x-ray that it is still correctly placed.  He said most of our time spent each day will be to double and triple check everything.  "You can never take back the radiation, so we want it precise the first time."  To that I say, Thank You, Kind Sir!

Caden will leave for Pioneer Trek on Monday.  Everyone is well versed on Caden's condition, but everyone is also doing all they can to make sure he goes.  Some peers even talked about being willing to push him in a handcart or even carry him, should he need-- they are that amazing!  We know it will be a life-changing event, one that will build him up for days ahead, so we are all doing all we can make it happen.  If anything pops up (intense pain or other cancer side effects), we have three people that will contact us to come and get him.  Dr. Jones does not foresee anything happening between now and then, but you never know with cancer.  He feels completely comfortable allowing Caden to wait, though.  Caden will begin radiation the Thursday afternoon he returns from Trek.

Standard end-of-life care is 13 doses.  He will begin 6/29/2017, with his last treatment 7/17/2017.  It feels very doable right now.  I left with answers, feeling better than I have for a few days.  The end result is still inevitable, but getting there doesn't feel AS daunting.

I also got a call from Hospice today.  We met with them in March 2016, but it felt WAY TOO wrong-- we still had many other options.  It still feels wrong, but now we know we really do need them.  I have a meeting with the nurse, here in our home, on Monday (conveniently planned while Caden is away).  We will go over all of the particulars of upcoming days, even though we don't know really what is going to happen.  I agree that we need to have relationships in place before it is more stressful.  But, my goodness, it still feel so surreal.  Hospice is for OLD people that have lived a long, full life, not 16-year old boys.  Hospice is for people that have their great-grandchildren surrounding their bed, not four younger siblings that can't imagine their lives without their older brother.  I cannot believe this is my life.

It has been much less heavy in our home as days go on.  Less forced laughing, less trying too hard with our jokes, less anxiety-filled arguing and crying.  We are trying to fit in as much fun as possible while we wait for the inevitable, and it is getting easier to believe the fun is real.  I'm grateful for that.  Because one thing that will never change: we will never stop having a blast together.  We are a living, breathing cliche-- Together really is our favorite place to be.