Easton

 While waiting for church to begin yesterday, one of my favorite Nursery kids walked up, placed a gift on my lap, and booked it back to his parents. 

Little Easton had been my greatest challenge.  Not because he was naughty, but because it took me the longest time to win him over.  I went to his house with gifts and magic tricks, I brought activities that I knew he'd like, but it took him a solid six-months to warm up enough to stay without sobbing.  I worked hard to get that boy to eventually love me.

Not only has it been 9-months since we've been in church together, but I haven't been in Nursery with him for more than two years now.  So him giving me this unexpected gift had tears and snot soaking my mask.  I walked over to thank him, telling him how much I loved it.  His mom, Jill, said, "He put that together for you all on his own.  I don't even know what's in it!"  And just like that, the tears I'd reigned in were falling again.  He still loves me!  The one calling I was most terrified of is now my all-time favorite!

Live Nativity

Inspiration is an amazing miracle.  What started as something to replace our Ward Christmas Party ended up being something that blessed the lives of those that planned, participated, and all those in the 650+ cars that came to see.  We put together a Live Nativity Drive-by.

When we realized it was going to be so well attended, Bishop asked the night before if we thought it was too late to announce a food drive.  As it turns out-- no, no it was not. 

By the end of the night, people were telling us that they'd waited in the line for over 45-minutes.  Randy was there to help in all capacities, so after I drove through with the kids, I drove to the highest driving point of the "mountain" behind our house to look down.  I was glad I wasn't still in the line but grateful to see nothing but headlights as far as 1 mile back and taillights about .25 mile back, seeing as that comes from neighborhoods, not main roads.

Randy had put together a 5-minute MP3 from a church video with music from the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square and words from the prophets proclaiming Jesus Christ as the reason for the season, our Savior and Redeemer.  It played on repeat and brought chills to every hair follicle of my person, especially when I pulled up to drive right next to the scene.

Families came together to build a stable backdrop.  Despite Rebecca, the matriarch of the family we asked to be our models, sewing her heart out to make costumes, when someone that is in the film industry heard about it, we were offered authentic, Hollywood costumes.

Two biological families, the Ritchie's (the same ones that put together the dance for Caden), alternately stood or knelt for two and a half hours.  100 cars came through before the 6:00pm start time.

Mary and Joseph knelt, gazing at Baby Jesus, shepherds brought live sheep, Wisemen brought their live camel, and all faced and gave praise to this Heavenly Scene.

One of the men that built the stable said he'd felt the spirit as he was designing and constructing, but it was nothing compared to seeing it all lit up as the backdrop to something so beautiful.

It may have said it was 45 degrees outside, but the sprinkling rain and at-times gusty breeze made me feel a pang of sadness.  I prayed and prayed that Heavenly Father would make it stop, just for those two hours.  However, my testimony was strengthened to think of the message that was portrayed during those cold moments-- No matter the cost, no matter the circumstance, we Speak of Christ, we Testify of Christ, at all times, in all things, in all places.  It was strengthened again when just 10-minutes after we'd finished cleaning up, the wind picked up to severe.  One thing about Richland-- it has Casper-winds every once in a while in the winter.  Heavenly Father had held off the wind until we were done. 

Missionaries accepted the food, handed out Pass Along cards and candy canes, directed traffic, and just made themselves seen, behind-the-scenes if you will.  Across the street from the entrance, we did actually have protesters, but they didn't stay long.  We invited them to Come, See, and Hear Him.  People not of our Faith were exposed to the beautiful temple, missionaries, the voice of the Prophets, smiling faces, our food drive, and the most beautiful display of the most precious scene in all history.

This may have started out as something to soothe the sorrow of yet another thing taken by Covid-19, but it ended up touching the lives of thousands in attendance, and countless others that watched the news broadcast where Randy was asked to be a spokesman, telling of this beautiful, inspired event.  I will never forget.

2020

 I have had our Christmas tree up for nine days now.  At the time we put it up, there wasn't another empty space available.  After we got our room back on Wednesday, Shelby asked if we needed to move the tree, to which I replied, "Nope."

This tree has significant meaning, and not just because Randy surprised me with it in such a heartwarming way.  It is almost a tribute to 2020 itself.  I don't know if you can tell, but there are two sections of the tree that do not have lights.  I did my best to hide the fact with garlands wrapped in twinkle lights, but the absence is still glaringly obvious.  Such is 2020-- we make do with what we have.  I would have loved to have had our painter come on time, have our carpet arrive when it was supposed to, but they didn't.  Such is 2020-- sometimes we just have to wait and endure.  We have to walk around it and look past it from many different facets of our main level.  Such is 2020-- sometimes you just have to look past the restrictions being placed on you, no matter how much they get in the way of normal life.

And like this view from our front door, I will look back at 2020 and remember that when I really look at it, really take time to see, I will realize it was perfect for us.  It wasn't something that I would have ever chosen for myself and may have only happened because we had to adapt and change and wait, but it turned out better than anything I could have come up with on my own.  Family time spent laughing around our kitchen table.  Individual time spent helping my kids learn, as well as enjoyment in the learning myself.  Projects done around the house that got us more organized and de-cluttered to live more peaceably in this home.  And this tree, truly front-and-center in our home so we can't forget for even one second the reason for the season: Our Savior, who is carrying us all during this year we will always remember.  Our 2020.

Babysitting

 A friend needed a quick favor while she went to an emergency doctor's appointment.  Shelby jumped at the chance to help babysit the two little boys.  However, it soon became clear that they were not the ones that would need the most attention.

Bella and Lucy, respectively, could not get enough of Shelby's lovin'.  If she'd stop the scratches, they'd press closer for more.  Bella is pretty intimidating when you first see her, but she is the biggest sweetheart.  Shelby is somewhat of a dog whisperer.  Cutie!

Weaver

When we first started the weaving project, Tyson gave a little bit of kick-back.  However, I heard his tone, I knew his reasons: He didn't want to show Cassidy just how excited he was to weave.  I'm not sure why he does this, as she knows he takes Jamie's sewing classes.  But I kept my mouth shut and just handed him his stuff.  Even as he was listening as the lesson taught them that weaving is a woman's job (the women raise the sheep, sheer them, clean the wool, spin the thread by hand, dye it, and then begin the project), he couldn't hide his excitement as he switched colors and saw how well it was turning out.

We had to improvise a bit tying it off because one side was a bit too small for either of our fingers to knot it.  "That's ok, it still looks really cool."  He had an attitude of placating me as I told him I wanted a picture of him with his finished project.

However, when I walked past his desk and saw this...

His actions and placement of his "forced-upon-him, 'girl'" project spoke volumes.  You don't display works you aren't proud of.  Cutie!

7-months exactly

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!!

Before

The last time our home will look like this...

It was here that I started getting really giddy...

And here where I swooned!

They had carpeted over the crawl-space access.  Randy agreed that it looked better, but had them fix it.  It's a necessary imperfection, sadly.

The only reason we carpeted our room was the hole the fireplace removal left, not because the 4-year old carpet needed it.  In an attempt to really give the carpet a good run, we decided to use it in the garage to capture the water that falls from the cars in the winter, thus protecting our garage shelves that much more.  We didn't ruin it while it was in our home, but we plan to here...

We do not have a designer bedroom by any stretch of the imagination, but it is ours and we love it.  It feels so nice to have things back where they belong, know that we won't be bashing into things as we make our way to the bathroom in the dark, and feeling the peace of a home that is as it should be.

How grateful I am to finally have our Master suite project 100% COMPLETE!!!  7-months exactly from the first sledgehammer swing in the bathroom to this!

Kids live here

 Brennon, taking off his shoes in front of the shoe basket.  Apparently, it takes too much time to pull the basket out a fraction to put them inside.  I love that you can see exactly how they were taken off and left.  One day I'll miss this...

Practicing precision

 While Tyson was telling Randy about his scripture habit, Brennon was scratching us a little note in the comfy blanket on our bed...

I love the art projects for this unit!  First, it was the petroglyphs, today it was weaving.  Tyson and I ran to Hobby Lobby to find plastic needles and yarn before I came home to put together the looms.  Remembering from my own childhood that it is very important to have everything as straight as possible, I knew that I needed to take extra steps to ensure their looms were precise.

The kids worked on their weaving while I read them the lesson.  When it mentioned that it took a lot of prep work to get to the point of actually being able to begin a project, I laughed with the kids about how much time it had taken to make their rudimentary looms as opposed to the massive looms they were showing.  I'm happy to report that their lines are straight.

Tyson wanted to make his best friend Jaxson's gift this year.  He purchased a sewing kit from Jamie and then worked on it after his school day.  I love that he'd spent another 9 full hours on school and still chose to do sewing over electronic free-time.

It came with pre-cut fabric and step-by-step instructions for him to do it on his own.  I love that my kids are confident with a sewing machine at such a young age-- Tyson's first class was when he was just 8-years old.  Jamie has helped build their confidence, and mine, with some seriously fun projects!

Spirit Speaks

 I have spent the last week pondering something in my heart that I continue to feel such gratitude and wonder over.  It's one of those things that I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am grateful for cancer care's lessons.

Because it had been five years since my last women's health exams, I scheduled a mammogram right along with my other exams.  It was scheduled for Tyson's birthday, but the machine was down, so they rescheduled me for November.  But we scheduled a surprise trip to New Orleans, so I rescheduled it again for December 2nd.  "Your results will be available on Friday."  Because I'd scheduled it simply because it had been five years since my last one, I wasn't expecting them to say that I needed to come back in for more tests.  As soon as I read those words, I felt an electric shock run through my body.  As my mind did two things at once by re-reading the letter from the radiologist as well as taking a temperature of my reaction, I realized that my body was reacting to the shock that it wasn't, "Everything's great, see you in a year," but my mind and heart were untroubled.  I thought, "I know the Spirit would alert me, even if just a tiny pin-prick of awareness that something wasn't right.  I know what it feels like to get the 'nudges' so I can prepare myself for what's coming."

I read the words at 1:14pm and immediately called to schedule the diagnostic imaging.  Isn't it always the way that they'd closed at 12:30pm because it was a Friday.  Monday morning at 9:00am, I called in.  I'd had an entire weekend of it being on my mind, but not feeling nervous in my heart.  As soon as I hit the send button, though, my heart started slamming in my chest.  I was so confused as I waited for them to pick up as I pondered in my head the reaction my body was having just because I was calling them!  I kept reminding myself that I knew Heavenly Father would have allowed me to feel even the tiniest unease if anything truly was wrong.  Other than my slamming heart, which ultimately made it so I sounded scared out of my mind when she asked me to give her my name, birth date, and address for security purposes, I hadn't felt nervous one bit.  I knew in my soul that nothing was wrong.

Because it was diagnostic and not simply screening, I was able to get in that afternoon.  I did my normal chores and teaching that morning, astounded that I was nearly late, having lost track of time teaching.  I showered and left in just enough time to arrive right on time, which by my standards was late:)  Again, I began shaking like a leaf.  Enough that I could barely sign the paperwork.  Again, it was as if my mind was reminding myself, convincing myself, that I knew deep down that nothing was wrong.  Throughout my life, the Spirit has given me little indications that things were wrong.  If something happens, I can always look back and see things that should have or do alert me.  My reactions to this scenario were truly my physical body!

As always, the staff was super friendly.  "I'm going to compress you with love!"  Because this was diagnostic, it took about five minutes more than the screening imaging.  When she was done, she invited me over to the screen.  Because I now have some experience with such imaging, I knew immediately what they were concerned about-- a small, soft-white circle that looked as if it could be connected to a blood supply.  But even as I was looking at it, I knew it was going to turn out to be nothing serious.  I knew.  But that didn't stop my body from zinging again when they told me that, yes, the doctor would like me to get an ultrasound, things just didn't look safe enough to say it was nothing.

As I lay on the table, freezing and exposed, I felt a calm come over me.  My Spirit finally convinced my body that everything truly was going to be ok.  My heart stopped racing, my breath caught, I warmed up.  The ultrasound tech walked in and asked if I was ok, and for the first time since reading those unexpected words on Friday, my body was ok.  I'm not gonna lie-- I don't revel in women's health exams, and this was no different for my modest sensibilities, even if they were super gentle, super kind, and super efficient.  The moment she placed the paddle on my skin, I started talking with her as if we'd been friends forever.  I felt such relief that my body wasn't freaking out!  We had a great time, laughing even.  When she told me she was going to show the radiologist my scans, I wrapped myself in the heated blanket.  Not because my body was shivering with fear, but because it was cold in the room and I was in a state of undress.  It felt amazing to recognize the difference between my physical body reacting to fear and the peace I feel knowing that my Heavenly Father will always prepare me.

It's a small cyst.  I didn't feel relief hearing those words, because I'd already felt peace when I walked into the ultrasound room, even though an added test should have freaked me out.  Because of cancer care, I know, I KNOW how the Spirit speaks to me, prepares me, guides, and carries me.  How grateful I am for this knowledge.

I compiled a list of all first and second-generation cancers, just in case and for possible future needs:

Paternal:  Father- Cervical Spine, Uncle- Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, Aunt- Skin, Grandmother- Skin

Maternal:  Grandfather: Prostate, Aunt- Cervical, Cousin- Melanoma (passed away April 25, 2020)

Family:  Son- Undifferentiated Embryonal Sarcoma of the Liver (passed away October 4, 2017)

I may not have a family history of Breast Cancer, but my closest generations, not to mention the siblings and family members of my Grandparents, show that we have a lot of cancer risks.  An interesting fact or coincidence: All of the Burrell genes who have had cancer are A+ blood-type, that includes Caden.

Inspiration and Devastation

 Tonight as the kids were heading to bed, Randy asked the boys if they'd read their scriptures today.  Tyson responded that he came up with an idea to place his Scriptures near his bedroom door to remind himself to read every morning.  Brennon said that because Tyson had told him his idea, he, too, had been reading his Scriptures every morning, in addition to our family study most nights.

Tyson, "We sleep with our connecting doors open, so before bed, we remind each other to pray, too."

The ideas of our 11-year old son, our baby, have encouraged his 12-year old big brother and inspired us.

On the opposite end of the spiritual spectrum, Keilie told us this weekend she has made the decision to stop paying tithing.  "God doesn't deserve it."  We are respecting her agency to distance herself from the Church, even though it breaks our hearts with much the same intensity as Caden's death.

Randy: "The joys and sorrows we experience from our children are at the opposite ends of the spectrum.  It was actually a powerful experience for me to realize this both on the same day.  Today, I contemplated and felt deep sorrow as I reflected on the sadness of having a wayward child.  Then Tyson said that and I actually couldn't remember a time I was more proud of those boys."

*You may have noticed in the picture that Tyson is sleeping on the floor.  This is his choice.  He currently has a futon in his room that he asked for when we purchased it from Russ and Ashlee in May.  "It's just too hard," is his excuse for why he doesn't sleep on it.  I didn't know when we purchased this home that we wouldn't need beds because our floors would be more soft and comfortable.  Lucky us!*

Crushing Coat Confusion

I love having items of clothing that pass down from kid to kid, especially when it is something that used to be Caden's, like this coat.

But sometimes it really hurts, too.  Forgetting that Brennon had gone for a walk around the neighborhood, my heart restricted yesterday when I saw this coat, with similar comfy pants, walking towards our home.  I gasped and pulled inward as if protecting myself from the pain I knew would come when reality hit that it couldn't be Caden, would never be Caden.  I'm grateful my boys can wear things that once were his, but my mind did ask, "Why do we let them wear Caden's stuff again," too.  Sometimes it is nice to have such reminders, but sometimes I question why we're passing down his stuff at all.  I miss my Caden.
 

Surprise!!

We came up with the commemorative ornament idea our first Christmas after we married.  In our second year of marriage, we'd had Caden in May and then moved to a new apartment mid-November.  In the hustle and bustle of a new baby and apartment, we forgot to get an ornament until it was too late.  Seeing as we used a fire poker as our Christmas tree that year, it's not hard to believe we weren't really in the right mindset for ornaments.  We realized our mistake on Christmas Eve night.  After I had gone to bed, heartbroken, Randy searched our home for supplies to surprise me Christmas morning with our ornament.

It has remained one of my most favorite because of what it took to get it on our "tree."

We still do not have our Master Bedroom put back together yet.  We went in to order carpet for it on November 20th.  Because of a few mix-ups and ball dropping, we had to go in a few days later and order another carpet.  We found one that was similar to our original decision and paid for it on November 24th.  They told us it would either be on the truck for November 30 or the following week on December 8th.  And then the 9th, and then the 11th.  Each day it pushed out our holiday decorations, as our piano room, where the tree is supposed to go, is full of all of the furniture from our Master Bedroom.

After yet another delay, I was heartbroken.  I didn't want to go another weekend without our tree up.  I'd wrapped all of our presents, but they had to be stacked nice and neat in our bedroom since there wasn't a place for them in our house.  While talking to Kimberly, Randy heard me complain to her that it just didn't feel like Christmas in our home, and I wasn't sure when it would.  I finished the call and came out to find Randy's surprise, which meant just as much to me as that ornament did on Christmas morning 2001.

He'd cleared away the couches and set up our tree in the only available space in the whole house, just for me.  It may not be the most perfect place, but it is perfect for me.  We spent the next two hours trimming our home for the holidays.  It's not as decked out as I usually do, but it's perfect for this year.  

One thing about Randy: His surprises make extraordinary out of the ordinary because they come from his massive heart.  He shows me in the most simple yet meaningful ways how much he loves me.  I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

Symbolism

 Our commemorative 2020 Christmas ornament has arrived.

We think we are freaking hilarious.

Teardrop

Made in China

Get it?!

How much?

This is one of our favorite foods for both side dishes and main course.  Shelby asked if she could make some yesterday for lunch, to which I said yes.  Before bed last night, she told me she would never add the "optional" butter again.  I told her I don't add it, but I know that most people like the added creaminess.  Shelby told me that hers had tasted like she was eating only butter.  Not liking butter myself, I just told her not to add it next time. 

While looking for something to have for lunch today, my eyes landed on the leftovers she'd saved.  The entire clear container looked solidified.  I opened the lid to find that you could barely even see the rice.  I was confused, as we have leftovers of this all the time.  Then it dawned on me.

"Shelby, how much butter did you add to this?"

1 cup.  2 sticks of butter when the directions say 1 Tablespoon.  GAG!!!  When I pulled out a stick of butter to show her what 1 Tablespoon looks like, she ducked her face and apologized for wasting so much.  We had a good laugh.  And then threw away the melted butter with a sprinkling of rice.

Sweet Deal

(He has pages and pages of scratch paper, full of equations)

 A few weeks ago, Tyson asked if I would sweeten the deal for his personal challenge by giving him a prize if he completed two things:

*Finish the entire 5th grade Math program (he'd already completed 50% by November 1st) before the end of Christmas Break. 

* Finish Second Semester of K-2 Spanish (which means he'd have finished an entire year of Spanish lessons in less than 1/2 a year) before the end of Christmas Break.

I told him that if he finished both courses during Christmas Break, I'd put together a pizza party for him and a few friends.

After working for three hours (in addition to the rest of his school day) on Math yesterday, he came to me again.

"Mom, if I finished all of my Math before Saturday, will you take me for a Small Blizzard?  That means I'd have to do 29 lessons both today and tomorrow."

This comes after his teacher contacted me to tell me that Tyson is supposed to work on Kahn Academy for only 20 minutes a week.  The last five school days, Tyson's clocked 150 minutes.  When I asked Tyson why he was working so feverishly on Kahn, if he knew it was only 20-minutes a week, his response was, "It's just fun."

Tyson has many reasons why he loves K12, but one I don't think he realizes is that it allows him to do as much Math as he wants in a day.  He finds enjoyment in it, and now has the capability to work at his own pace.

Winter Wonderland

 I love that we have all four seasons here in Washington, unlike Casper's long Winters and Summers with a week of Spring and Fall.  I have seen some pretty interesting weather here with freezing rains, blinding fog, and days where it warms up enough to melt things before freezing overnight to leave all surfaces an ice sheet.  Weather can be scary as much as it can be wonderful.

One of my most favorite is when we have freezing fog.  

The trees, bushes, and tips of grass become gorgeous white pillars without the world being blanketed in snow.  The crystals that form and grow allow sight of the branch itself in contrast to the white of the spikes.  Because there isn't a blanket of snow, your eye is captured by the crisp white of the frost against the background of normalcy.  It is just stunning.  It gives the feel of a Winter Wonderland without the negative effects of a world covered in snow.  I'm kicking myself for not throwing together family pictures!

Capturing Cameras

We purchased the cameras in our home for a multitude of reasons.  But one of the benefits of the cameras recording movement in the night was one that I never even considered.  We'd caught Tyson sleepwalking out the front door this year, so I did want to be alerted to his late-night movements, but what we've captured more than anything else this last month is something that Tyson does that is endearing, not scary, like walking out the front door and not knowing or remembering that you did.

Looking at the picture below, the upper-level window closest to the forefront is Brennon's room.  The little jut-out with the tiny window is the jack-and-jill bathroom window that connects Brennon and Tyson's room, which is that back window on the upper level.

Having never heard of a jack-and-jill bathroom until we married and moved in with Uncle Jerry and Aunt Veniece, maybe you don't know that it is a bathroom with two doors between two rooms.  It has two sinks in one part of the bathroom, with a pocket door to close for toilet and shower use.  Essentially, it makes both bedrooms into a sort of Master Suite, in a way.

Imagine our surprise when nearly every night, Tyson walks from his bedroom, which is behind the left door at the end of the hallway here...

Down the stairs, where he turns around at the bottom...

To walk down this hallway to use the powder room to go to the bathroom.  He then walks the same path back to his room, traversing the entire house on his way back to his bed that is not 20 steps from a toilet.

He's not the only one that doesn't utilize the bathroom connected to his bedroom: Brennon's first pee in the morning is in the powder room, too.  Like his sleepwalking episodes, Tyson didn't know he did that in the night.  As a sleepwalker myself, I have stories of my own that made me feel off as I listened to someone tell me of things I'd done or said that I have no memories of whatsoever.  Thanks to these cameras, we have video proof to show Tyson, and then we laugh and laugh.  Except when we see him walk out the door in February without socks, shoes, coat, or knowledge that he was sleeping...

Treadmill Triumphs

 Since Orange Theory is closed, Keilie and I decided to put our own class together.  We rotate stations in our tv room and kitchen doing 10-minutes on the treadmill, doing Base, Push, and All-Outs, 10-minutes of weights, and 10-minutes of jump rope and squats.  We blare our fast-paced music through surround-sound speakers and have a great time.  I LOVE HAVING HER AS MY 'GYM' BUDDY!!!

Brennon, seeing our treadmill schedule, asked if it was hard and if he could do it, too.  

With the ramp at its highest and a speed more than I usually run, Brennon finished the 10-minutes in sweat-filled glory.  He turned to me, red-faced and excited, sharing his victory with me.  He told me his back was probably going to be sore the next day and that the soles of his feet (he has flat feet like Randy) hurt during the running, but that he loved it.  I love being a cheerleader for my family, even if it can only be within the comfort of our own home.

With Dad

 Tyson was accepted into the Hi-Cap (highly capable) program at school.  One of the things that I didn't really like about Richland School District was their handling of the hi-cap kids.  If they qualified for both Math and English, they were asked to go to a particular school where it challenged such kids all day.  If they didn't, however, or you chose to keep them in your home school, there wasn't anything special they'd do.  If they didn't have teachers like Tyson's 3rd-grade teacher, they wouldn't be challenged.  

Because he'd come late in the year to the class he wasn't able to do the first project.  The new project will be to actually build a house with an interior, which will take 6-weeks to research, plan, and construct.  He's excited.  To break up some of the "work," they also do fun activities and then share the results in video format for all to see.  Today, Tyson's activity was to use the toilet paper rolls we'd collected over Thanksgiving break to either 1) make it into an art project, or 2) make it into a marble run.  I wish I could have recorded Tyson's excitement and voice as he told me about it.  "Mom, I bet you can guess which one I'm going to do!"

As he was figuring out ideas and talking through some of the logistics of it, I mentioned that he should talk to Randy about some of the angles and tools Randy has to know exact angles.  The second Tyson said he was making a marble run, Randy was all in.

It was so much fun to listen to them analyze things.  Randy would ask Tyson something and wait while Tyson worked it out in his head.  They would try one little thing and then over and over tweak it, getting things just right.  If it looked as if one thing was slipping just a tiny bit, they'd reinforce it and try again.  Randy taught him many different things for just this one project.

"Hi, my name is Tyson Dirks.  I chose to use my toilet paper rolls to make a marble run.  I used six toilet paper rolls, one paper towel roll, 1 PVC pipe, 1 Solo cup, and painter's tape.  I tweaked and tested my marble run until I had a 90% success rate.  Enjoy!"  Cutie!

He was excited to be the first one to add his video to the class assignment.  

Later that day, our Science had us doing an experiment that was kind of labor intense.  We not only had to gather things from all areas of our house and yard but work intricate holes into the bottom of the bags that could be hung with kite string.  Having little hands that don't know how to be too delicate, it took a lot of restraint to let them do it on their own.

With the can taped to the edge of the table, they centered the meter stick and leveled everything out.  Using the heat dish, which doesn't force air out like other heaters do, we placed it heat-side up under one of the bags to watch the hot air rise.  The kids were thrilled to watch it slowly rise after all of their hard work.

After Tyson finished all of his work, ending his school day after 9 hours of constant work, Tyson said, "Mom, I love working with you, and I love that our Science experiment actually worked, but the best part of my day was working with Dad on that marble run."  I had already guessed that would be the highlight of his day after he muttered under his breath on the way to math tutoring, "I love working with Dad."  He wasn't talking directly to me, he was talking to himself.  I find that very endearing.

Drawings

I have had times in my life where Sabbath worship didn't "look" how it "should." My first such time was our first Sunday at Seattle Children's after Caden was diagnosed.  Caden was beyond sick, not able to keep anything down.  As the visiting Elders offered Caden the bread, it had barely hit his stomach before he threw it right back up.  Exhausted but intent, Caden asked, "Does it count?"  Never had the Sacrament meant more to me than right then.  I have had many times since, as I've swallowed the bread and thought over my week, where I hoped in faith, "Does it count?"

Another time came when Caden was told he couldn't eat or drink anything.  Despite the doctor's orders, he was determined to partake of the Sacrament.  Again, the bread was offered to Caden, who reached out with determination for not just any piece of bread, but the biggest piece on the tray.  The Spirit was strong as I realized that his faith was stronger than his fear.  Nothing was going to dissuade him from what he held most sacred.  No one, not even the doctors, would stop him from keeping his covenants.  That day, Caden taught me what it means to Always Remember Him.

These last few months have looked quite different as well.  At first, it was church-at-home only.  I loved the quiet of our Sacrament service, that Randy broke and blessed the emblems while Brennon administered to our family in peaceful silence.  Then we were allowed weekly Zoom meetings, where speakers spoke from the comfort of their homes.  Next, in September, we got to attend Russ's meeting to become a Bishop without partaking of the Sacrament.  It was my first time attending church with a mask on.  Now we get to attend church every-other-week.  We begin the meeting by listening to the organist play the opening song, no singing allowed.  Then we have two speakers before ending the meeting's zoom with a prayer.  Those at home partake of the Sacrament in their home, while those in attendance are ministered to by attending members of the Aaronic Priesthood.  The Deacon's each hold two trays, one laden with individual cups of bread or water, the other empty to receive the empty cups. They offer one tray first, pulling it back before anyone can confuse the trays, quickly offering the empty one.  They go from row to row, which are spaced every-other to conform to the social distancing guidelines.  It's not what we'd consider "normal," but it's getting closer.

Church hasn't looked normal for many months.  But the Spirit can still be felt so strong.  Today we got to hear from Elder Ritchie, who recently returned from the Santa Rosa, California mission.  Because it was our off-week, Shelby, Brennon, Tyson and I sat around our computer in our blankets and comfy chairs.  It didn't look like church, but the Spirit that permeated our room and hearts from his testimony has become one of those experiences that I will remember forever when I contemplate what it means and "looks like" to Worship.

(Paraphrasing from memory)

Elder Ritchie, holding up a picture drawn by 6-year old Abigail Schlesser, whom he taught in Primary before his mission, for all to see, including those at home.

"I've asked many people what they thought this was a picture of.  One person told me it looked like a squid.  But I know what it is-- It's a picture of me, drawn by a girl that had done her best, even going so far as to add tears I'd shed in a few of our lessons together.  I have kept this picture with me every day of my mission, in my scriptures so I could pull in out when the Spirit prompted me.

This picture is like our earthly experience and presentation to our Savior and Heavenly Father.  Others may not know what it is, may only see scribbles and their own interpretation of what it represents.  But to our Savior, it means the world.  He knows it is our best, with as much meaning and love as we could give at the time, done with as much color and detail as we thought needed to be added.  Others may not hold it as dear, but our Savior keeps it with him and holds it close.

Sometimes we may not feel as if what we are giving is as good as others, something that would be framed or saved, but the Lord knows the true value and worth of our pictures given throughout our lives to Him."

It may be the setting or simply the analogy itself, but because I was struck so deeply by the imagery and feelings it evoked, I will never forget this Sabbath day.  I imagine some of my own presentations to my Savior over the years look much like Abigail's picture-- something only I know what it represents, drawn with as much love, color, detail, and meaning as I could do in my limited experience with my Spiritual Crayons.  But the Savior knows how much time I took, how much it meant for me to make it for him.  He holds the drawings of my story close when others would discard, when others would see only scribbles or squids.  I hope my current drawing portrays a beautiful, vibrant, bright-colored stroke for today because it was a day to always remember in a long line of not-normal Sabbath days.