Counting...

It's funny (yet not funny) that I wasn't feeling nervous about today's scan until Monday morning. The morning dawned bright and beautiful, but it felt heavy to me. Almost like my mind was saying, "This is the week."  It has been so nice to be home for two whole weeks without anything medical added to our day, but a small little 3- minute PICC line flush. Easy peasy. Caden has been feeling great. The kids have been playing well together and just enjoying life. With temperatures over 100 for a few days, we've been enjoying close quarters of love. It has been amazing. Truly, I can't think of it without getting emotional. My heart is so full. We have such a good life. 

Then Monday morning comes and I am a bucket of nerves. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't just sit, yet I am exhausted from moving, moving, moving, trying to keep my mind off of my fear. I'm not scared of the word cancer any longer. I'm scared of the word suffering. 

In five hours we will know the fate of our next three months. WOW, how wonderful it feels to live three-months-by-three-months again!! We're going there together, Randy, Caden, and I. The car is charged with nervous energy. Our conversation is a bit muted, our laughter just a bit forced. However, there is strength in this car. We are doing this. We are going there together.  

Four hours and 55 minutes...

The report is in....

The scan was CLEAN!!!!!!

PICC is out. Caden is plastic/accessory free!!

We are on the road to our real life. See you in three months, Sue and Seattle!

The feeling is truly indescribable. We are free. 

It feels amazing to cry tears of joy when leaving Seattle Children's. They have long been overdue.