Nursery

While meeting with the Bishop to renew my temple recommend in September 2016, he sprang a new calling on me: Nursery Leader.  With a very real, very loud huffy breath, I accepted.  It was so surprising, he actually told me he wanted me to take some time before accepting.  I told him that I didn't need any more time, that I always accept callings, but I was not really looking forward to it.  After my very first Sunday, I lay in our black-out bedroom, on the center of our bed in the fetal position, wondering why I had been so willing-- what in the world was I doing?!  15 months later: I cannot imagine my life without this calling, without these sweet, precious spirits.   Heavenly Father knew I needed it, knew I needed them.  These kids have changed my life.  For good.

I have been working for a few days to make each one of them a special gift, something to remind them to pray and remember me by: a pillowcase.  I was confused by the mounting pressure of sadness as I was making them, since I was mostly excited to give them their homemade gift.  While pondering my depressed feelings, I realized today: I am struggling having to say goodbye to them too.  They have been a very bright, shining light these last few months.  Their love and kisses and snuggles and fighting to sit on my lap has been so good for my soul.  They love me.  I love them more.  And now I must allow them to move on.  Just like my Caden.  I know they need it, I know it is good for them, I knew this was coming, but it doesn't make it any easier.  Saying goodbye to those we love is never easy, even if it is for the best of purposes.  I'm so grateful for inspiration from a loving Heavenly Father, giving us what we need, especially if it is so far from what we think we do or do not want.  I am convinced that Nursery is the best calling in the church.