Seattle

We made our first trip to Seattle without Caden.  I felt anxiety and sorrow suffocating me from almost the moment we left  until we made it to Ashlee's.  I cried as hard as I've ever sobbed since he's been gone, silencing it as much as I could from the kids.  My head almost exploded from the pressure of it all.  I had a migraine through the night, leaving Ashlee's hours earlier than we planned to.  But it's done-- our first Seattle trip without Caden.  I wish Ashlee and Russ could move to Richland, so that I never had to make a trip North again.  I wouldn't, either.  I would be happy to never hear the word Seattle ever again.  I am sick of Seattle.  I hate Seattle.  I miss Caden.