Shaken Up

I always wake at 6:30am to take Keilie to zero hour.  While on the road this morning, on the on-ramp to the freeway, our Charger dinged-- Battery.  I told myself to remember to tell Randy when I got home.  Soon after getting onto the freeway, the radio shut off.  The control panel for radio, thermostat, heated seats, settings, and phone wouldn't work.  I started to get a little concerned, but not enough to call Randy.  Yet.

Like most mornings, I stopped at the cemetery after dropping her off for a few minutes before heading home.  When putting my car back into Drive, the car dinged a few yellow service lights (I don't know what they mean, I'll have to ask Randy about them later), and the air came on full blast for maybe three seconds and then turned off.  It was then that I realized that the heater hadn't worked at all on the drive.  As I was pulling out of the cemetery, I had a strong impression to call Randy and tell him to meet me at the shop.  I knew then that it was serious.  I just didn't realize how serious.

A few times on the freeway, the yellow service lights would ding on and off, gaining frequency the longer I drove.  This was when I became pretty nervous that I may not make it to the shop.  As I was on the off-ramp, literally able to see the shop, I started to kind of breath a sigh of relief that I wouldn't break down on the freeway, but my car was just getting started.  With each tap on the brakes, the yellow lights would ding and flash, gaining frequency until it was and on-off-on- couple seconds- off- on.  It felt like it was becoming sort of a ticking time bomb.  I started to feel the panic of being trapped.  I was trapped in the situation!  But the sound of the incessant beeping was nothing compared to the fear ignited when a different ding and a different red light came up on my now-colorful dashboard.  BRAKE!

With the constant red Battery, the intermittent yellow lights, now including the constant yellow check engine light, I didn't think I could be any more nervous... until the brake engaged and started to quickly slow me down.  Then release.  Then engage.  Dings were sounding more and more, lights flashing, my car was choosing when to go or stop, and all I could do was pray like mad to make it to the shop.

In the parking lot, tires squealing as I raced into the first available parking stall, I kid you not, the car came out of Drive, revving the engine as if I'd put it in Neutral.  I slammed on the brake (my choice this time), put it into Park, quickly turned off the car, and burst into tears as I rocked back and forth.  I was so freaked out, my emotionally unstable psyche so certain that the car was seconds away from exploding, and then immediately so relieved, that I pretty much melted into my seat in a puddle of sweat and wracking sobs.  "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for helping me make it."  The car literally died as I was pulling it into the stall!!!  I knew without a doubt that I'd been prompted and protected.

As I was coming down from the adrenaline high, shivering in my heater-less car, I got a text from Keilie (I'm not even joking, I jumped in fear at the ding):

"Mom, the flashing lights and police cars we saw on the way to school is a homicide.  A drive-by shooting.  They're looking for the killer."

{Already stressed mind starts going crazy realizing how close that is to both the Middle and High schools, with an armed killer at large}

"Oh my gosh.  How scary.  I love you!"

"I love you too.  I hope I don't die {insert laughing until you cry emoji}!"

"Not funny."

Is it bedtime yet?  It's times like this that make me realize how broken I still am, even though I can see how far I've come.  Don't get me wrong, it was a stressful time, but I can't stop crying even two and a half hours later.  I still feel scared remembering the trapped feelings I felt.  I cannot handle stress.  I don't want to do anything today.  I can't function.  I can't Mom today.  I just want to sleep.  It's situations like this one that make me nervous that depression is coming for me.  That maybe the switch has been flipped, and I'm going to start losing my mind.  I just want to sleep.

UPDATE:
Alternator  $550.  All is fixed, and well.