Tonight, I got to help Keilie with her Bridal pictures with Sunny. As I stood back, critiquing everything from her hair down to the hem of her dress pose after pose after stunning pose, I couldn't help but feel that surreal feeling again and again. My Keilie girl is getting married! In mere days, she'll no longer bear the name Dirks. It hits me nearly every day now-- This is real! My daughter is getting married!
Thank you, Emily Bass, for opening your home, hosting Keilie's Bridal Shower, and making your very first balloon arch just for us!
Standing room only!!
A month ago, I was asked to participate in our Stake Women's Conference. Our Stake Relief Society President had recently been to the Rome, Italy Temple and saw the mural where the artist put all of the parables, stories, and people associated with Christ during his ministry into one mural, however, the artist used modern people as the faces, minus Jesus Christ. This mural became the focus and theme of our Conference.
During the program, a narrator would read a statement about the Scripture women, and then a modern woman would bear her testimony of how that story helped strengthen their own testimony of the Savior. I was asked to be the modern Woman at the Well.
One night, I was trying to fall asleep, but inspiration kept me thinking. From Midnight to 2:00 am, I sat down to write my 3-minute testimony. Even while writing it, my testimony was strengthened. How grateful I am to have been asked.
After the chaos, noise, and tears of the first cancer care battle with our son, Caden, I thought I needed peace and quiet, rest and ease, to heal my broken. It was about this time that then-Bishop Kreutz called me into his office and extended the call to be in Nursery, a place with its own chaos, noise, and tears, a place where there would be no rest or ease.
Like the woman at the well, I hesitated at his request. Surely, Heavenly Father knows how tired I am— He’s carried me while I carried my son. Surely there are others more capable than I. Like her, I resisted. What could I possibly have to offer?
We read that Jesus, without his disciples, waited for her, on the outskirts of an undesirable town, at a well-used by outcasts at an unfrequented time. But what I find most profound is that He had nothing to draw up water with— Until she came. In the eyes of many, and maybe even herself, she didn’t have much to offer. But at that moment, she had exactly what He needed.
After accepting the Nursery calling, I presented what I thought would be all that I had left, my last drop. But something extraordinary happened in that ordinary place. Those babies healed my broken with chubby arms around my sagging shoulders and sticky kisses on my tear-stained cheeks. As I diligently learned how to earn the trust and love of those 20 “Little Ones,” Nursery became more than 2-hours of chaos, noise, and tears. It became the backdrop for my growing testimony that He loves me and knows what I need. He knew me when He called me. He had known all along.
About 8 months after that inspired Nursery call, my Caden passed away. If I thought I was broken then, it was nothing compared to the broken of the days and years I nearly drown in the depths of my sorrow as I, like her, just tried to satisfy my daily needs.
Years later, as I began to feel like myself again, Bishop Hammond called me into his office and extended the call to be the Primary President. Just as before, the request was made during a time in my life when things were full of chaos, noise, and tears. But this time I did not hesitate or resist; I presented myself humbly and willingly. Because I knew my Heavenly Father knew how tired I was— He still carries me. I know He has others more capable than I. But, like the Woman at the Well, He met me where I was and asked for something only I could give.
I testify that our Savior knows and loves each of us individually. He is the Savior that leads and guides, walks beside, or carries us through our triumphs and trials, our celebrations and sorrows. Because He loved me first, I want to— and will be— the girl that shows up with what I have when the Savior has need of me.
Tyson and Brennon went to a church dance with friends tonight. Although my kids know of my love of pictures, I never would have imagined that they'd take a picture like this all on their own. Because of that fact, I love it even more. How cool is this picture?!?!
While watching The Biggest Loser with Randy last night, I was struck by how blessed I am to have him in my life. Our date night might not be glamorous by most standards, but I wouldn't change our life for all the riches in the world.
This photo was not staged. When he reached for my hand, my heart swelled in my chest. I'm the luckiest girl in the world!
She took Caden with her today, too. She wore his jacket, the one he got when he was 16. Love that!!
Brennon left this morning for Bellvue to attend the State Competition for DECA. He has always been my favorite Second Son, but he's earned an extra swell in my heart for all of the pictures he sent to our family text thread.
After going to all of the temples currently open in Idaho the last week of December, the kids said they wanted to try and get all of the Washington and Oregon temples soon. I came right home and got us signed up for Spokane. It turned out even better than I imagined because the kids ended up having a half day, so we left earlier that necessary, which I love. We got there in enough time to grab some dinner before our Session.
We'll work on Seattle (we were scheduled for February 18th with Ashlee and Russ, but had to back out due to Primary issues.) next, hoping to get Moses Lake, WA in 2023. Tacoma has been announced, so one day we'll go there, too.
I love that my kids will be able to tell my grandkids one day, "We went to all of the temples that were open in Idaho the week between Christmas and New Year's Eve 2022. Then, there were 6: Rexburg, Idaho Falls, Pocatello, Twin Falls, Boise, and Meridian. There are ____ now! Oh, and guess how many Baptisms for the Dead we did in three days... 218!"
If I am being honest, the temple I am most excited to go to is Casper, WY. We prayed for a temple for so long there, and now it is finally being constructed. I love Wyoming so much!
I'm the luckiest girl in the world!
For a host of reasons, Shelby hasn't been able to get her driver's license yet, even though she passed the class and tests months ago. She has been 16 years old for 26 days now but still has to wait one more week. She has been counting down to getting her license more than she counted down to her actual birthday.
I am so excited for her for a multitude of reasons. I'd like to admit that I'm most excited because she's excited, but the truth is, I can't wait for her to drive her siblings' places because I want to stay indoors and be lazy.
But there is a part of me that is also struggling. Shelby has always held a special place in my heart, a place that none of my other children ever can. She is the baby born after two devastating miscarriages. I was grateful and excited to hear all of my children's first cries, but hers was the one that I felt the most emotion, the most relief, the most everything.
I obviously revel in the fact that she's growing up, getting out one step at a time, learning how to navigate the world around her, in this case, literally, but there is also a part of me that looks at her, my Rainbow Baby, and feels a touch of sadness too. Getting their license is the first step toward independence that shows them they have wings to fly and places other than home to explore.
I'm excited, truly, I am. But I am also a bit sad, too.
I am reminded of a story by Lisa Valentine Clark. She'd trained for weeks to run a race with her son, whereas, he didn't train much at all. Throughout the race, he kept up with her easily, barely showing any signs of effort as she huffed and puffed. Just before the end, she told her son that he could finish at his own pace and she'd meet him at the end. And just like that, he took off, opening up and running at his true speed and ability. He'd held himself back for her, but when the time was right, he ran for himself.
Paraphrase: "Because that's what we do-- Teach them to run on ahead without us."
She will always be the baby that lived after loss. Now, there is a feeling of loss as she lives this new independence.
Seven more days...
Brennon came home exhausted tonight, early from the church dance. I don't blame him-- he'd already been to another dance directly before the church one. Brennon joined Buddy Club at the beginning of the year, and today was their big activity. So he went to that dance so that he could ensure someone else had a great time, someone else had a wingman, someone else had a friend if they didn't feel confident to search one out.
Brennon has Auditory Processing Disorder. Loud noises and lots of conversation are physically exhausting for him on a good day, downright miserable at other times. But he chose to go to something so another felt happy. Not only that, he's pushing himself more and more to get out and get used to those environments for his dating year. He's going to a Swing Dance class to learn how to dance, to get more confident in asking, and to get used to having a good time even with things are too loud, too tiring.
I have always known that Brennon is a peacemaker. I have always known that Brennon makes people feel loved, and welcome, and calm. But the generosity he has shown these past few months and weeks have me feeling ALL the feels. He is such a good kid. He is such a kind and generous friend. He is such a great son. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
During school on Tuesday, Tyson told me he was thinking of going for ASB Senator. Each Homeroom class elects one to represent them. Since I hadn't purchased an ASB for him, he asked if I could go on and do it right then. Because I was having trouble with it (technology is not my friend at times), I asked him if I could just send him with a check to pay for it the next morning.
When he got home, I could tell that he really wanted to get it done that same day, so we jumped in the car and drove back to his school to purchase it. As we were driving, he told me more about his excitement for the chance to run. Turns out, that was the last day to apply, so he barely scraped in. When I asked him how he even knew about it, since he obviously hadn't heard about it before, he let me know that his teacher encouraged him to go for it. I love her!
He came home to write his 1-2 minute speech. As we were discussing things, he stopped. "It is so hard to brag about myself like this! I don't want to seem conceited." It felt amazing explaining to him that this was the time to show people who he was, make promises you know you can keep, and convince them through words that you are right for their vote. I didn't say it, but I hoped he already knew-- He really is THE BEST to lead.
Hi! As you all know, I am running for a spot in the ASB Senate to represent this class. I am going to give you three reasons for you to decide if I would be best suited to represent this class.
1) I always have a positive attitude and a whole lot of energy which makes me the best candidate to represent Mrs. Jacobs because these are qualities we share.
2) I am clear-headed, clever, and respectful. Even in serious conversations and discussions, I am one that can lighten the mood with funny remarks but still be respectful.
3) I am courageous, determined, and driven. A few years ago, my Dad took my family boating on the Snake River. We stopped near an anchor point for barges, and my oldest sister dared all of us to climb the two-story ladder and jump off into the river. I didn't know what I was getting into at that time, and without seeing exactly how high this climb will be, I promise you that, as I did then, I will make this climb and take that jump. Will you be with me?
Thank you for your time and consideration.
And just like that, Tyson won!
Texts and comments: "Mom, I was so nervous I could barely breathe. My breaths were coming in so shallow! But I felt like I didn't read with the paper right in my face because I've spoken in church. It was so cool because one of the kids that was also running told me he voted for me because my speech was better than his. It was so cool."
A member of our ward, Boyd Drennan, recently passed away. I signed up to bring a "non-chocolate dessert." As I was looking through recipes, Randy jokingly swept his arm over our recently bagged freeze-dried candy and said, "Boyd would appreciate this!" Randy was just being facetious, but it hit me-- Boyd was our resident Candy Man, he WOULD appreciate that!
Brennon checks vending machines for change every time he passes them, without fail. It's something he's done since he was little. He always seems to find something, too! This school year alone, he's found more than $40 a few quarters at a time. I love that he comes home and tells me first thing how many quarters he found that day. No joke, he found 7 on Tuesday! SEVEN.
Today he was telling us that he'd found two "coins" that had been 3D printed. He told us the weight was off and that the face was all wrong. Randy asked to see them, to which Brennon told us that he'd left them there. Randy said, "Why wouldn't you bring them home? Why leave them there, that makes no sense." Shelby immediately started laughing, "Haha, pun unintended!" I'm ashamed to admit I didn't get what she was saying right away-- Randy had to explain it to me. Leaving fake money behind doesn't make sense/cents!
I'm not sure I have ever been more proud of my Shelby than I was at that moment. Puns are my favorite, and she found one when I did not. SO FUN!!
Tyson came down after he'd already been in bed for about 20-25 minutes last night saying, "I need you to sign this paper for me; it allows me to retake a test in History. Because it is the second assignment in the class after the Semester change, getting two questions incorrect dropped my overall grade by 5%! I want to retake the test during lunch tomorrow to bring that grade back up."
Tyson has always been very invested in his grades. He's one that checks them every single day. If his percentage drops too much for his liking, he's that student that will immediately go to the teacher asking what he can do to bring his grade up. Oh, and I should also state that he's told me he plans to go for Valedictorian. He's been saying that since I told him about it when he was in 5th grade.
Text: "Mom, I just wanted to let you know that I just retook the test and got 100%. My grade is back up to 100%."
I have now learned that 95% is unacceptable in his eyes. Good to know!
On December 16th, 2022, Dallin asked Keilie to marry him. They've chosen April 14, 2023, to be married. I have loved April 14th for nearly 23 years now, as that was the date that Randy asked me to marry him! "Stephanie Burrell, will you be sealed to me?" So, so neat. Enjoy a few of my favorites from their Engagement session with Sunny.
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Congratulations, Dallin & Keilie, the soon-to-be Mr. & Mrs. Pratt!
I have quite the migraine today. Not my favorite. Randy was going to the dry cleaners, so I asked him to stop and grab me my favorite caffeinated drink- Mountain Dew Rise- from Circle K on the way home. His response back to me was, "Buy me a rose, call me from work..." lyrics from a song of our dating days that was written by Randy's Seminary teacher. I thought he'd heard it in the car, so I text back, "Blast from the past! So fun."
Randy walked in with a chocolate rose extended to me. "They didn't have a real one, so hopefully this is ok." It was at this point that I went back to our text thread and saw I'd written Rose instead of Rise. He told me he'd leave right away to get me a Rise, to which I told him that it was ok, and please don't worry about it.
He walked out of the room and straight to the fridge. Walking back into the room with a cheeky smile on his handsome face as well- as well as a Rise with a chilled Koozi in hand- he once again extended his gesture of love to me.
That's how I know! Randy always finds little ways to make me feel so special. I am particularly hideous homely today as I lay in bed in my bathrobe trying to survive this migraine. It is the type where I can hear my heartbeat in my ears more than anything else around me and cannot see much around the electric lightning shooting constantly in front of my vision. Daydreams of ripping all of my hair out so the pressure can escape my head are playing on repeat. But my Mister found a way to make me feel loved and beautiful today.
The flower is now displayed in my kitchen so I can see it often and remember this day, and this post will forever be special as the first of many to come after more than a year on hiatus. It was the kind of gesture that propelled me to the computer despite barely being able to walk let alone function. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
