Stephanie, Dear One!
Thank
you for your fabulous service! I saw only the tip of the iceberg of
what you did for Relief Society, but you are a bright memory in my first
impressions of this ward when we moved here a year ago last summer.
Your energy and cheerfulness really stood out in a sea of new faces. It
was so welcome at that confusing time of transition.
But
you know what, you don’t have to be all things to all people. I think
one of the most important tasks Heavenly Father gave us to work on in
mortality is prioritizing. That’s a horribly overused term, but
wouldn’t you say this life is about learning what’s important? I know
it was extremely difficult for you to let go of your calling at this
time. But you have plenty of other life callings pulling you in every
direction, even inside out.
It’s
amazing how many women endure extreme overwhelm. We’re told repeatedly
that all things are possible with God, so there must be something wrong
with us if we’re not doing all things. But there’s timing too. God
doesn’t want us to do it all right now.
A
few years ago I was stake Relief Society secretary and I worked to
fulfill my calling the best I could. We had only two children and Ken
was around a lot (not traveling for work or having a demanding calling
himself) so it should have been a piece of cake. I had been ward RS
secretary twice and this was less work than those callings had been.
But there were too many times I was gone for most of a weekend and
things started falling apart at home. There was no lengthy illness, no
specific challenge at home. It just wasn’t working. Things kept
getting worse while I told myself that stake leaders wouldn’t call me
unless Heavenly Father wanted me to have this job at this time. Surely
if I served well I would be blessed at home. But it just didn’t turn
out that way. I met with the RS president and the stake counselor who
had extended the call to me. They understood my concerns and removed
some responsibilities from my plate. I kept going, but it kept getting
worse anyway.
After
over a year of trying and struggling, I resolved to fast and pray about
asking to be released. I hated doing that because surely stake leaders
were entitled, with their callings, to more of the Spirit to run the
stake than I. And I had never before
said no to a calling or asked to be released from one. But this
situation just didn’t seem right for my family. On that specific fast
Sunday I knelt to pray, forming the question in my mind. “Heavenly
Father, should I…” BAM! The Spirit hit me like a wall. I was going to
say “should I ask to be released?” and didn’t get it out fast enough.
It was as if He was just waiting for me to come to Him. I got an
emphatic “Yes!” Knowing I was doing the Lord’s will for me and my
family, I asked to be released and immediately life improved.
I
share this with you to let you know I understand the feelings of
wanting to be everything to everyone, and the feelings of not being able
to quite pull it off. As I said earlier, I and many sisters just in
this ward experience extreme overwhelm. Several times a day I struggle
with crying. I must be doing something wrong or things would be
different, right? Why do simple tasks seem so hard? I don’t have an
answer. But I do have a little advice. Focus on what you accomplish,
not what got delayed. “I brushed my teeth today!” “I fed most of the
children today!” “I took a moment to just look into my husband’s eyes,
to acknowledge he’s on the planet!” Plenty of things don’t get done,
but how truly important are they? That’s my working philosophy to get
me through a day.
Be well. Hug your kiddos. We all love you so much.
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