Savor

At Caden's "physical" appointment for Scout Camp, Dr. B gave me a book to read.  All about Cancer.  He, himself, had cancer a few years back.  He showed Caden his radiation scars, told him all about how he'd flown back to New York 10 times in a year- on his own dime- to be part of a clinical trial, and just made Caden feel like they were in a club, or something.  I truly love the doctor that we have here.  Even in the scariest part of our cancer journey, he gave me his cell phone number, assuring me that I could contact him any time, with any question, and he would help in any way he could. 

I have been reading this book any chance I can get.  It hasn't happened as much as I am used to, what with family leaving, cleaning the house, and just plain exhaustion, but I am getting to it a little every day.  Last night I got to a part that had me actually taking a picture of it (I can't highlight it, it's not mine to keep) so that I could always remember the words.  It is from "Anticancer: A New Way of Life," by David Servan-Schreiber, MD, PhD.

"When we put off till tomorrow the quest for the essential, we may find life slipping through our fingers without ever having savored it.  Cancer sometimes cures this strange nearsightedness, this dance of hesitations.  By exposing life's brevity, a diagnosis of cancer can restore life's true flavor."

"Savored" and "True Flavor" stuck out to me.  I love it when someone uses such vivid words to explain something that we have heard before, when words are changed just enough to make something that is "ordinary" be something that we want to remember.  Suddenly, "Find Joy in Your Journey" becomes something different, something to Savor.

A song that we, as a family, have been listening to a lot is "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran.  Ashlee shared it with us a few days before Caden's last recurrence.  As we were driving home from that pivotal scan, hearts heavy and faces wet, the words almost begged me to listen. 

They are words that have helped me to savor our time together.

"We keep this love in a photograph.  We make these memories for ourselves.

Where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken.  Time's forever frozen still."