Tomorrow, Randy and I will celebrate our 14 year anniversary. We decided to go to a matinee and lunch on Thursday to celebrate. Indian and a movie was just what I needed to unwind from the stress of the previous week. And, man, did that Indian hit the spot. It has been a toss-up the last three years between Indian and Greek being my favorite. Wow, I love them both. So glad we have the best of both here in Richland!!
Lunch was great, but the movie was better. I read 'The Fault in Our Stars' and instantly fell in love. Like I said before, I was recommended to read it before all of this happened to Caden, but for some reason ended up reading it while he was going through chemo. It hit me so much harder than it would have had I read it in December. I read it three times in three days, highlighting the parts that affected me, in green. On my calendar I am keeping, green days are his chemo days- it just seemed important to me, somehow. I was going to go with my girlfriends on Tuesday, but with Caden's numbers being too low on Monday, I was in Seattle on Tuesday. I'm sad I didn't get to go with them, but I'm SO happy I saw it with Randy on this day for our anniversary date. It was magical.
With it being a matinee, on a Thursday, a few weeks after opening night, the theater only had four other couples. I was emotional watching the previews. I knew what I was going to see. I had been waiting to have it come out, I was just so excited. As the movie progress with the amazing acting following the book so well, my heart was filled with happiness, once more, over this amazing book. Again, because of the situation we find ourselves in, this book has such meaning for me. It touches my heart so much differently. As the movie credits began to roll, emotions fresh, the tears just started. In the dark of the theater, I cried. Hard. As I leaned on the man of my dreams, remembering that we were celebrating 14 years of perfect happiness, it struck me afresh how much cancer sucks. It takes people too young, robs of so much, and changes lives so fast. We are changed, for good, because of this disease.
That night, as we were putting our angels to bed, Randy asked if I wanted to go see it again. He'd already recommend family members go see it. It meant a great deal to him as well. We sat down with my copy of the book, something that is included in my decorating now, and poured over the things that I'd highlighted in my book. Just as the first time I read it, I cried during her speech telling Augustus Waters how much she loves him, how she is grateful for the Forever he'd given her in their short time together. That movie, while sad and completely raw to all that watch it, will be one that we buy the day it comes out. Because, it means something to us now, as we deal with our own story of cancer, but because it is one that reminds us both of the love we get to have. The privilege it is to simply love.
Last night, with the kids gone (for the last time!) and with Caden in bed, we decided to go see it again. Making up for the lack of date nights we've had in the last few months. Going from once-a-week to once every two months has been hard. Not because our marriage has suffered, but because I miss my husband. As the theater dimmed, my heart swelled thinking of this man that I love so much. I almost cried reaching over to hold his hand. I love him so much! As the first few minutes of the show came onto the screen, my excitement grew at being able to see this amazing movie, one more time, with the man that I love. Unfortunately this experience would not be as magical as the last. In fact, it was 100% awful.
A few minutes into the show, a group of girls came into the theater and sat four rows in front of us, slightly to our right. They were talking. Loudly. As the movie was going. I was appalled that they could clearly see that the movie was going and still decided to actually talk! Then, the mother handed them their drink and walked out. As in, leaving five young girls by themselves. And the talking kept going. The giggling at parts that weren't meant to be funny, showing their total immaturity. As the movie progressed, and my anger was flaring, I kept thinking that I should go ask them to be quiet. But, with the progression of the movie, I thought they'd finally get into it and shut their mouths. Come on, this movie is a drama, it's difficult not to get into it. They'd quiet down for a moment, making me think they'd finally gotten into it, but when they'd start talking or giggling again, I'd feel heat radiating my body. Then they all got up at different times and left. It was as if the whole audience gave a sigh of relief to have them gone. If only they would have stayed gone.
At one of the most heart-wrenching times, we heard laughing coming from the entrance. They were coming back in. Together. Laughing and talking as if they were at a concert. And following close behind...was their mother. Someone behind us yelled, "Would you be quiet?!" And they did...for a minute. The mother, once again, dropped off their drink (after talking, herself) and left. What?! The kids were obviously not into the show, why did they want to be there?! I could feel the tension raise as they walked across the front of the screen. At a part that had touched me so completely just two days before, was something completely different this time. I tried with everything in me to simply put them from my mind and just listen. But I couldn't. I had thoughts of anger going through my mind. Things I wish I could say. Things I would like to do. The magic of this amazing movie had been ruined. I was crushed.
As the movie credits began to roll, instead of tears of gratitude for the favorable circumstance we found ourselves in, there was anger. I told Randy that 'I wish I could follow those girls out.' He looked at me and said, "I am!" We followed them to their mother, sitting outside the theater on her phone. Randy walked up to her, waited for her to end her call, and asked if she was the guardian. She looked apprehensive and answered that she was. Forcefully, but without raising his voice, he told her, "Don't leave children in a movie theater unless it is a cartoon. These girls ruined the entire movie for everyone in that theater." She was stunned, to say the least, that he was actually complaining to her. She asked them what they had done, to which their reply was that they had just 'cried at the end.' This pushed me over the edge. Because, at a part that the whole audience should have been crying at, they were laughing. They were laughing at something that is NOT funny! The acting was so amazing at this part, that you could feel the anguish as if it truly had happened to her, that somehow we were witnessing real life. And they laughed. I added my words, said almost in tears at their lies, without raising my own voice. At this point, another group of people were coming out of the theater complaining about them. The mother heard, and Randy pointed at them and told the mother to ask anyone coming out of there how they enjoyed the show. We could have, maybe, done things a little differently, but we felt like we helped them realize what they had done. The mother leaving her young girls (one of which was about 7!! Remember it is Midnight by this point!) and the girls for actually treating that time as happy hour. It was awful!
I have pondered on the two scenarios. We went to see the exact same movie, together, but each one was so starkly different. One was a complete dream, the other a nightmare. Sometimes, in our lives, the outside world affects the outcome of our experiences. We were the same people that had seen it days before, we had the same love for one another, we both wanted to feel the same emotions and grow in our love for one another and our experience. But, because of something outside of our control- an outside influence- it made the experience one that we hated. No matter how much we want something to happen, sometimes what other do affects our happiness.
It has been has been hard for me to forget the anger. If the second date would have been our first, we would not feel such love for that movie. We probably wouldn't have been so excited to see it again so soon. The feelings that I try to focus on are that of the first movie. But it's hard not to feel like we were cheated. Outside influence can make all the difference. And just like in the book, there are two ways to tell a story. Sometimes, it's not who is telling the story, but who is reading it, and what is happening around them that shapes their impression on the matter.
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