I don't think I would be as worried about this if it wasn't for a story Sue had told me of her own daughter. Her youngest, Grace, is the same age as Keilie. She started to complain about the same type of pain that Caden has been complaining about. With all that Sue sees, she immediately jumped to "Oh.My.Gosh!!! My daughter has a sarcoma!" She took her into the pediatrician and demanded a Scan. Turns out she had serious enough damage from gymnastics to warrant a back brace for six months.
I know that he finished chemo just seven days ago, and that every cell in his body is dead, but I can't help but jump to conclusion!
What if he does have another sarcoma, but this type responds to a different chemo drug?!
This has been the thought that has ruled my brain for hours now.
It all started yesterday at about 10:00AM. He was just sitting on his bed, when he reached back and kind of attacked his back. "Man, my back hurts!" And it has gotten worse ever since. After three Icy Hot patches that have done absolutely nothing, along with many hot bath soaks, I was starting to get more and more concerned. And we all know that my mind has a tendancy to seriously blow things out of proportion. It's something I have done since birth, I'm pretty sure. This morning, at 1:00AM, he asked if there was something he could take to make him fall asleep. So I gave him some of the Benadryl he's prescribed, hoping that after a good night's sleep his back would be better. By 1:30AM, the agitation that he was showing had settled. I remember watching the clock change to 2:00AM and then nothing.
Until 4:00AM when I heard the bath running. He was woken with pain. Since we have done NOTHING for DAYS, this kind of pain is NOT normal. Especially since it is not a muscle that can be felt, or even massaged out. He can't sit still, he is constantly in motion, trying to "stretch" his back. So, with my over-active brain, of course I am going to remember Sue thinking her daughter had cancer because she had this exact pain description.
And I'm scared because I don't know what's wrong.
His pain has made it to a five. On a scale of 1-10 this may not seem too bad. But for my warrior that said the worst pain of his life was an 8, this has me quite concerned.
I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to go home. I'm in desperate need of hugs from all of my babies. I'm tired from more than just two hours of sleep- regardless of the fact that we have just been sitting in the same room for five straight days. But most of all, I realize I'm probably going to live in fear for a while with him. Because, cancer or no cancer, he's still my son. And that's what moms do...they worry about their babies and jump to conclusions once in a great while. Forever!
9:00AM Update~
They gave Caden Oxycodone and waited 30 minutes for it to kick in. When that didn't touch it, they brought him Valium. Just two minutes after that, he was wheeled in to get x-rays. While waiting for the results of the x-rays, he was able to get some much needed rest. Lucky! I guess he earned it.
They compared today's x-rays to April's CT Scans and found nothing out of the ordinary. They think he may have had a severely strained muscle due to excessive laying in bed. We have walked around the neighborhood each night, but with us being stuck in our room, without any chairs, we are left laying around (literally) all day. They gave me some Meds just in case this happens again.
They were also good enough to access his port and draw the labs that we had planned for 11:40 this morning. Now, if all looks good, we'll be able to go back to RMH and lay in our beds for some much needed rest. Two hours is just not gonna cut it today. I'm thinking he'll need platelets today, so we may have a few more hours here in the ER, but all is ok here. Thank goodness!!
I can put my worries to rest. Until the next time.
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