Smolder

Whenever we do fireworks, Randy always has the hose ready. Always. He may be a crazy, blow torch wielding pyromaniac, but he is safe about it. 

On Monday, Randy said that Caden could light off a few fireworks during the day. We had had some saved from last year, so with the new stuff they'd purchased that day, Randy said Caden could do a few before our own little show. Caden lit four that truly sounded like M-80's. In fact, our neighbor came over to see what they were. In all of the excitement with the new toy, Randy's giddiness had them in the backyard with a 5-gallon bucket, a jelly roll pan, and a camp chair. 

They would light the flower, throw it and the match into the bucket, cover the bucket with the jelly roll pan, and then put the chair on top. The flower would either blow a hole in the side of the bucket, or blast the pan and chair off the top. With the kids standing around the perimeter of the yard, one child with hose in hand, they'd all loudly cheer at either outcome. There was a lot of noise coming from the Dirks' house- fireworks and humans alike. 

When the last one had sent the pan and chair flying, Randy exclaimed that he needed more. He immediately loaded all the kids, but Brennon, into the car, headed for West Richland. Brennon and I stayed near our nervous Mira. After they left, Mira would still not leave my immediate side. As in, she was stuck to my leg. I made the decision to go to Petco to get her a Thundershirt. I loaded Mira and Brennon into the car, and set off for the best purchase we have made for Mira. 

Fast forward 15 minutes. We both pulled in at the same time- Randy with $13 dollars of flowers, and Mira sporting her new "comfort blanket".  I had taken a few extra minutes to get out of the car, so the excitement that was coming from the backyard was interpreted wrong. When I heard that the bucket was gone, I thought maybe Randy had put like 10 of the flowers in the bucket at once, blowing the bucket up. Nope, while we were gone, the bucket had caught fire internally and smoldered to nothing in our backyard. I came out to an astounded Randy! His face showed both terror and concern. We weren't gone long, thankfully, but we could have been. So much more could have happened than just a round burn mark where the plastic was welded to our grass. 

So now we can say that Randy is safe-ish with fireworks. Because he blew off SEVENTY TWO more flowers in a different bucket, and it didn't internally combust. You better believe the new bucket was doused way more than needed, for good measure.