Comfort

One of the many things that I love about our lives in Richland, why I know that we were lead to the rental home that placed us in the Hillview Ward: the friendships we have made.  Honestly, it was no surprise that remaining in the ward was the only stipulation our kids gave when we needed to start looking for a new home in January.  We have been richly blessed in our associations here in Richland.

Yesterday, after church, I was approached by a friend whose daughter has been considering asking Caden on a date.  I confess, this was one of those things that I was sad thinking Caden might never experience.  Washington law states that once he gets his actual license, he cannot drive with anyone, except immediate family, for six months.  This greatly lowers his chances of being able to drive himself and another couple anywhere.  Couple that with radiation side effects and stupid cancer, and you have pretty slim chances of normal teenage activities involving a boy asking a girl to bowling and dinner (my first date, actually, almost twenty years ago).  Since the pain had been intensifying over the space of the last few days, even by the hour, I asked if they could hold off making major plans until we knew how a full week of radiation would make him feel.  We have been told that the radiation would help with the pain (because it was killing the cells and making the tumors shrink is their reasoning) but Caden always tends to be on the "unique" side, so I just don't know how he will feel.  We all agreed to talk more within the coming days.  I was over the moon driving home from church, daydreaming of my Caden going on a real date.  A few hours later, I got a text from another mother, asking for almost the exact same thing for her own daughter!

I realize that it was the daughters that approached their mothers, wondering if they thought it would be alright to ask him.  I understand that adding cancer into the mix of dating makes for a very "unique" situation that involves more than just asking and driving.  I don't know how to approach some situations in all of this, I can't imagine trying to approach this as one of his peers.  Both of these mothers reached out to me, wondering if Caden would feel up to it.  Both understood that I would want to witness him experiencing this rite of passage.  Both wanted to help their daughters navigate this confusing and unique dating scenario.  

While trying to turn my mind off for sleep, a thought came into my head about these two mothers, and so many, many more that have supported us since January 31, 2014:

...as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in...  {Mosiah 18: 8-9}

Things have felt a little off with the on-set of pain.  Seeing Caden lay around more than even sit has been difficult.  New pains have started, too: he cannot lay on his right side, or it will send shooting, stabbing pain through him (liver tumor), and he cannot yawn deep, for the same pain reasons.  Stupid Cancer.  But, because of these two mothers, their daughters, and countless others that have done SO MANY THINGS, we do not feel alone in our mourning.  There is not much that we physically need right now, but we do need prayer.  There is not much that anyone can physically do right now, but we do need emotional support.  There is not much that can be said, but we do need encouraging words of love.   For those that have offered prayer, fasting, encouragement, support, help, thoughts, love, good vibes, gifts, friendships, followed our story, or even come to love us without knowing us personally, I thank you.  My heart has felt just a bit more heavy and emotional lately, but it has not felt crushed.  Truly, my burden has felt lighter because of the encircling love of so many.  Not easy, by any means, but lighter than I ever could imagine any of this being.

Stay Tuned: The Boy in the Bed Goes on a Date may be a novella to our Love Story very soon!