Headstone

I mentioned a few weeks ago that we were waiting for the monument maker to come to Richland to fix Caden's headstone.  We had gotten word on August 25th that he comes every few weeks to fix any problems, but also to add dates to headstones already placed, and that we would hear when he was actually working on it and when he was done.  Last week we heard that he'd be out the first few days of October, most likely doing it on Wednesday or Thursday.

As I said yesterday, Randy went to the grave on October 4th after dropping Keilie off at zero hour to add water to Jamie's flowers.  This was the state of the grave, similar to what it looked like when we sent the initial email saying it needed to be fixed.

It isn't happening in all of the letters, and isn't happening at all in the eagle or surrounding frame, but it has chipped away more and more since our initial email to the cemetery back in August.

I thought it was cute that he took Mira with him.  It's because of the dirty, dusty, and dingy look from this picture that Randy thought to take the power washer to the grave.  Power washing was Randy's second time going to the grave that morning.

After we'd set up for the party, I grabbed some ribbon to refresh the Fall flower arrangement I made last year.  After getting that all spruced up, we headed back out to the cemetery to place them.  This was Randy's third time at the grave, and was about 1:15pm.  There was a sprinkler going, although not very fast, so we had plenty of time to place the arrangement, making sure that everything looked pristine.

I came home to try and get a nap in (try being the operative word) before the party.  Less than an hour later we were headed back out to the cemetery.  Randy had gotten an email-- the monument master was finished.  We were both surprised, since we'd been out there so recently, but what do we know about the process or how much time it takes?  We were just excited that it was finished on his anniversary, that on that day, after our washing and their repairs, Caden's headstone would look brand new.  Randy's fourth time at the grave in one day was his shortest time of them all--  the work had not been done.

This was the picture Randy captured to take in to show them.  Without the dust and dirt, you can really see the true chipping.  Randy said that as he was talking with him, our cemetery person (I don't know his actual title, is that horrible of me?) was visibly getting more and more agitated.  He pretty much dismissed Randy with a, "I'm calling him right now.  He has worked here for the past two days with a list of all work.  He came before lunch, saying all was complete, and started home for Seattle.  He isn't scheduled to come back for 6-8 weeks.  I'll take care of this right now," and walked into his office.

Today we got his response:

"First, let me apologize again for this.  I know that it could not have come at a worse time for you and the family.  I have spoken with the owner of the monument company and he contacted Tim (the person responsible for this kind of work) to find out what was going on.  

Tim's assessment of the marker was that it needed to be power washed and cleaned with a mineral spirit before re highlighting the stone.  Tim, I believe, had every intention of telling us this information in the office so as to pass along to you.  He neglected to do so.  I have talked directly with Tim and he wanted me to apologize to you on his behalf and said he would even be willing to call you directly to apologize.  I told him I would get back to him on that.  

If it would be okay with you and Stephanie, I would like to make arrangements for Caden's stone to be temporarily removed, sent back to Seattle, repaired properly and then re-installed.  Would this be okay?  

If we are to go this route, we would schedule the stone to go up on our next truck which would be on October 17th.  The stone would be removed from the location on the 15th or 16th most likely.  It would be in Seattle for 2 weeks and returned to us, fully repaired on October 31st truck.  At which point, it would then take our grounds crew a day or two to reset the stone.  In the meantime, we can make arrangements for a temporary marker to be installed so that his location is not left unmarked.  

I wish I had a better solution Randy.  I wish that this sort of determination could have been reached when I supplied Quiring with photos in the first place.  We could have already had the work done by this point instead of waiting for them to do on-sites to fix this.  Again, all I can do is apologize to you and Stephanie.  I am sincerely sorry for all of this.  

I understand if you do not want to remove the stone too.  If you would prefer for the stone to stay in place, then we would schedule for Tim to fix this next time he is over and he would bring the necessary equipment with him to properly repair it.  The problem to this scenario, is that if our weather starts to become too cold, we likely will not be able to do the work until the spring time.  Quiring told me that the stone needs to stay around 70 degrees or warmer in order for the litho to stick and properly adhere to the stone.  

Please take your time and get back to me at your convenience.  Feel free to call me if that is easier.  

Thank you.   

Best Regards,"

Although it feels weird to know that his headstone will be removed, that we won't have it there for a few weeks, I am happy they are doing everything in their power to make it right.  Normally I don't want people to have to go above and beyond for my own happiness-- I don't like appearing "high maintenance"-- but, this is really important to me.  If they can fix this, making it stronger against the elements for the many, many, many years to come, I want to take that opportunity, even if it feels a bit too much.

And just as a closing thought: After talking with our cemetery person and leaving the cemetery, Randy made one last trip with Brennon after school.  Tyson and I wanted to go, but Tyson had soccer practice.  Shelby may have gone, but she had a ton of homework.  Keilie didn't want to.  I admit that I go to his grave five days a week after I take Keilie to zero hour, but never five times in one day.   I doubt I will ever break that record, even though I am a very competitive creature.

Sometimes, like this very second, it hits me so hard: I cannot believe I am writing about this.  I cannot believe I have a grave I visit often.  I cannot believe it is my child's name that is carved in stone, my child in the ground.  I cannot believe it's my Caden.