Letter

After church on Sunday Randy got a text from Mike Stafford, asking if he and Maren could stop by.  We weren't sure exactly what the reason was, but we knew it must have something to do with Caden.

{Handing me a sealed letter with Caden's name and our address on the front.}
Mike: "13 months ago, for a Mutual activity, the Young Men wrote letters to themselves.  The Bishop recently sent the others out..."
Maren: "But we didn't want to just send it in the mail."

Their thoughtfulness and kindness touched me as much as opening the letter to see his handwriting.

My hands shook a little.

Before reading specifically, my eyes skimmed down the page and I had to smile.  Typical to Caden, it was neat, precise, to the point, and very, very short.  That boy never gave me the details I craved as a female.  But what he did say always said what he cared about most.

"Dear Caden from the future:

I will get my license.

I will start school.

I will graduate 11th grade.

I will have a good year.

2017

Graduated 10th.

Finished radiation.

Ordained Priest.

See you in a year!"

My heart exploded in racing heat when I read that last line.  Warmth and electricity coursed through my veins as I realized the magnitude of the timing and arrival of this letter this very week.  Not early August, the exact year mark of the activity, nor last week when Mike was released from his calling, this. very. week.  Our year anniversary.  

I like to think that someone on the other side whispered this sentence in his mind as he was finishing up this letter.  I like to imagine Caden smirking at his silliness as he dotted that exclamation point.  I smile to think Caden could actually be a bit cheeky ("Dear Caden from the future:" "See you in a year!") while writing this letter, since he had already heard there was nothing else that could be done now that radiation was finished, not to mention how awful radiation left him feeling.  He never lost his humor, even when he knew he was dying.  I like to think this letter was meant to come to me when it really was, for us, a year.

He may have written this letter to himself, but I feel like it's a letter to me.  A tender mercy in the Lord's Time.  A gift from my son in Heaven.