Alexis

Close to the beginning our our Journey, I woke to an email box full of comments about a Facebook Post I hadn't seen. I should have gone to the first email I received, instead of reading the top one on my list, because with each comment full of surprise, love, and adoration, I got more and more confused. Finally I got to the email that started them all. 

Some of our friends had gotten together the night before to create "Caden's Crew in Casper." As I looked at the many pictures of the event, tears streamed down my face as it became increasingly hard to breathe. I marveled at the love we continue to feel from a place we will always consider home. I ran to Caden and we poured over each picture, remembering stories we remember about each child. My heart was full to overflowing. And then came the biggest surprise. Standing adorably posed in the front of all the boys was Lexie Worthen. I was shocked to see all of the love and support for Caden from his buddies, but I was stunned to see a girl. 

I have thought of her many times over the last few weeks, now months, wondering how she was, how long her hair is, etc. I decided to simply ask Beth if she would share some pictures with me. She did more than that. She shared their beautiful story with me and gave me permission to post it forever in our family book. 

Back then, I joked that because of her sacrifice, I wouldn't mind a betrothal between Caden and Lexie. Alexis Worthen Dirks has a nice ring, after all. However, after reading her story, it is no longer a joke, but a hope. Any boy would be lucky to take this girl to the Temple to become his Eternal companion. But, not just anyone will do. She is an amazing little girl. Caden would be lucky to have her look his way. (In a few years, that is!)

The first picture is of Lexie before her baptism exactly one year ago. 

Here's how it all happened: We decided to do a shaving party just a short time after we heard about Caden’s diagnosis. I remember that it was a Wednesday, because we eat out on many Wednesday nights (with back-to-back piano, art, dance and violin lessons, it’s about convenience!) and we were sitting in a restaurant, unable to think or talk about anything else. I think we were reeling from the news, since we had just seen your family in September.

We wanted to do something to just make Caden smile, something that might help him through the initial days of chemo and hair loss (Kind of a “see how cool this is…join us!” message to him), so we started texting different friends with boys who were Caden’s friends, asking if they wanted to get together with Connor to do it. We set a date for mid-February that evening.

 On the way home from the restaurant, Lexie was pretty quiet. As we approached home, I heard her speak up from the back seat and say, “Mom? I think the Holy Ghost is talking to me. I think I should shave my head too.” We talked about it as she got ready for bed that night. She knew that she would look different for quite a few months, and that it might make her feel different from her friends. She was absolutely certain of the decision, so we added her to the shavee list! 

At the shaving party, we all had fun eating waffles and talking, then trooped to the garage where everything was set up with stools and shaving equipment. The kids had a great time posing for pictures and making a poster for Caden. 

Before

After

The missionaries were there for dinner too, so it was quite the party – a ton of kids running around, missionaries circling, and hair flying! 

The after-effects: After Lexie’s head was shaved, it was interesting to get comments and looks from people. When we were at classes or birthday parties, other moms would approach me tentatively and ask about Lexie’s health. I know she felt different from the rest of her friends, but I really think she enjoyed being a bit apart from the rest. 

She also had to let her dance instructors know that she wouldn’t be able to have the required hairstyles for her spring dance performances. (And for some reason, her hair seemed to take SO MUCH LONGER to grow back in than her brother’s – we’ve cut Connor’s hair three times since the shaving party, and her hair is just now getting to a similar stage!) 

Quite honestly, we’ve kind of enjoyed doing fun things with hats and hair bands. Right after Lexie made the decision to shave her head, I called my mom and told her to get knitting! I knew Lexie would need some hats to wear – both to keep her head warm, but also to make it fun (what girl doesn’t want more accessories?!?:)). My mom immediately researched patterns for cute knit caps and spent hours making caps of all styles and colors – caps that slouched in the back, caps that fit close to the head, caps that were soft and fluffy, caps that had boot cuffs to match, caps that had buttons with a variety of knitted flowers to attach to them. Lexie ended up with quite an enviable knit cap collection, and has become more comfortable wearing hats than being bare-headed, to tell you the truth!. 

Headband

Hat

We also found a place in town that makes the cutest hair bands, and they’ve been a lot of fun to wear as her hair started growing out. 

The impact: I think because the kids shaved their heads, it’s made them feel so much more connected to Caden’s journey. Connor and I each have your blog as a permanently-open tab on our tablets, and one of us is always sharing the news of the day – at dinner time or in the car or at bedtime prayer. Fasting has become easier as we've fasted multiple times for your family, and we've felt more unified in our fasts -- and more strengthened in our testimonies of its power. Our family has prayed for Caden and for your family – every prayer, every day. And it’s helped us make our prayers more specific, as we’ve prayed that Caden would be receive nausea relief, that he would be okay with one more feeding tube placement, with one more chemo round -- that Keilie, Shelby, Brennon and Tyson would have happiness, comfort and peace each day -- and that you and Randy would feel strength and peace as well. 

Here’s Alexis’s take on her experience: It felt weird at first, not having hair. Sometimes I didn’t feel normal and was a little jealous of girls who had hair. People would always ask, “Where’s your hair?” But I’m really glad I did it. It made me feel good to follow the Holy Ghost. And now I realize that I look good with a pixie cut! 

I know that there have been many “ripple effects” from Caden’s journey, and so many of them center on your family’s ability to teach us all about the tender mercies of the Lord, about the power of fasting and prayer, about the meaning of eternal families. Alexis has learned about following the promptings of the Spirit. She has learned that when we follow the Holy Ghost, it makes us feel good – even if it makes us a little different. I am so grateful that she is learning this lesson, as an 8 year old girl – and I pray that she will continue to live it! Love, Beth

This post is not to detract from the sacrifice of the other members of Caden's Crew. We love and appreciate all of the support, but Lexie will always have a special place in my heart. And one day, if Caden is lucky enough, she could even hold a special place in our family. 

Alexis, Thank You for sharing your amazing story. Thank you for your example of following the Holy Ghost. You inspire me to be a better friend, person, mother, and woman.  I love you so much!  You are an astounding young woman that will always touch the lives of many. We are lucky to know you, and blessed to call you friend. Thank you!!