Mindset

We have had a stomach bug going around our house.  Keilie called yesterday at around 10:30 saying she wasn't feeling well, so I went to go grab her.  Ashlee and Russ left early on Sunday due to Daphnee throwing up, so I figured she had the same thing.  She came home, got into a hot bath for an hour and then took a two hour nap.  Around 1:30, the nurse called to tell us that Brennon was complaining of a stomach ache.  Not five minutes after he walked in the door, he was throwing up all over the front room.  It was nice that we still had the rug removed from Ashlee's visit (Deacon peed on it last time, thus causing Ashlee stress and embarrassment- so we removed all anxiety), but it meant that as soon as he started, it splashed all over the wood floors.  Awesome.  A few hours later, Keilie was throwing up in the same fashion, throw up splashing all over.

I find it so weird that all of the times that Caden was throwing up with chemo, I not once felt like even gagging.  I would hold the bucket, many time getting it on myself or feeling the warmth of it through the thin bucket, but not once did I ever feel even a tiny portion of nausea.  However... I almost lost it at least twice with each child yesterday.  It was touch-and-go there a few times. 

Maybe it's a mindset.  Maybe, subconsciously, I don't view chemo throw up as disgusting, just incredibly sad- it's not as if it doesn't stink, or sound and look awful.  But, there is a difference.  I would never hope that any more of my children (or anyone, for that matter) have to endure chemo, but I wish I could have the mindset and strength that I have when I'm caring for a vomitting chemo child.