Story

I love it when a book I'm reading "speaks" to me, or makes me think of what I'd do in a similar situation.  I love it when books make me think of what life would be like without choice, where everything I did was something that someone told me to do, like, or want.  But, I love it most when books make me grateful for what I already have.  When books reconfirm that I really do have a life that is a modern-day fairy tale.

With all of the extra time on the couch this week, I've read a few books.  It's not something that I would have chosen to accomplish for this particular week, but I found that I actually have missed reading a book a day.  I love to devour books, to lose myself in another world.  I love it when I find a new author that I know I can trust to be clean.  I just love to read.  Anywhooooo...  I started reading the Chip and Joanna Gaines story.  I have loved watching their show on Netflix for many years, wishing I could look at things the way she does and come up with those ideas on my own.  I love that she takes something that is not my favorite, and makes it my favorite in a way I never would have seen it used.  That is just really intriguing to me.

As I began the book, I was struck again and again that their story is very similar to our own.  Not on all accounts, obviously, but many things had me thinking, "That's just like us!"  Paraphrasing Joanna:  "Chip never gets attached to anything without a heartbeat.  He is always looking for another thing to invest in."  Um... I think Chip and Randy are spirit twins.  Paraphrasing Chip: "I've pretty much learned to just leave her alone after I present something to her."  I think Joanna and I would be friends!  She tells that with almost everything that he's presented to her, she gets mad at first, kicks back because she hates it so much and doesn't want to even think about it.  Then she takes a breath.  Then she starts to think about the project, how she can help him make it better.  And then she gets a little excited.  And then she says, "OK, let's do this." And they make something mundane into magic.  We are nowhere near as amazing as they have proven time and time again, but we do improve each and every project/home we begin.  When it is time to say goodbye to a home, we look back with fondness on the memories made together, more than the work itself.

As they talk about their marriage, they both said more than once that they "are better together, than apart.  That they become better by doing things together.  That they grow stronger together because of the trials they face as one."  And, again, I thought, "That is us!"  There have been times in our marriage that I needed a girls' weekend to see a Broadway show in Omaha, NE with my sister and bestie, or a Time Out for Women that requires at least four hours' drive time each way, but it's for my own strength-- never because I need time away from Randy.  We are better together.  We are happier together.  He is everything I never knew I always wanted.

But the thing that touched me most in this book were words that I needed to hear this week.  Things have felt a little heavy for me recently.  I just feel so mentally tired.  It truly hasn't been all bad.  There have been many, many times of laughter and fun.  I still enjoy doing everything for my family, finding new, fun things to do together, but it just seems that I have been a major complainer this past week (maybe longer, I'll have to really search my tired mind to remember exactly).  And then Joanna reached out of her book with her beautiful words, and lifted me up.  She helped me realize something that got lost in my mental and physical pain.

"It was such a blessing to find myself thriving in the middle of the pain.  Unless you find a way to do that, there's always going to be this fake illusion that once you get there-- wherever "there" is for you-- you'll be happy.  But that's just not life.  If you can't find happiness in the ugliness, you're not going to find it in the beauty, either." 

So, I started to think of our own story.  I was humbled to see the happiness that we have made together in all of the ugliness.  Things have been a little difficult-- not cancer care difficult, but difficult for our everyday lives-- but we are still thriving.  We are still capable of feeling joy and adoration and love, even when things feel tense or glum.  We are still living the good and wonderful life.  We still have everything that makes us better-- each other.  Our ugly makes our happiness the most beautiful thing in the world.  I'm going to work harder to see only the happy.  Because there is a lot to see when you remember to look.